A Love So Absolutely Clear {Crowen} ✔️

19: a side to consider

chemo wasn't stopped, though it was limited. no matter how much it hurt, novella had to keep going. both her parents were tested to see if their HLA was a match, but as they expected, they weren't. owen and cristina's parents were also tested just in case. they weren't either.

now they were fighting tooth and nail just trying to find a match for their daughter, as impossible as it might've sounded. everyday they'd wake up, feel the dread they'd always feel, and try like hell to do whatever they could do for their child. it felt so unbelievable how the same daughter they almost gave up for adoption a little over six years ago ended up becoming their entire world. it felt so unbelievable how now, she was fighting a battle she could very possibly lose.

it had been weeks. summer was coming to a close, and given her condition, there was no choice but to keep her at home as a way of schooling. they hadn't figured all of it out, and they probably wouldn't even try to. everything that wasn't about saving their child was none of their concern.

for them, it almost felt like it was the end. it had been three months only, and they felt like it was the end. she was barely talking, she was barely eating, she was barely moving. and considering her lower immune system, they didn't know how long she really had. a little over sixty percent of acute lymphoblastic leukemia patients survived five years after their diagnosis. sometimes they couldn't help to wonder if that wouldn't be her.

novella needed to stay in the hospital, and was doing so ever since her bone marrow had been damaged. because chemo was still ongoing, she had to be monitored everyday in case of infection, and was given medication to relieve some of the pain she was almost always feeling. it made cristina feel a lot safer knowing that if anything happened, a doctor would be right there. she was right there.

"nov, come on, you need to eat." cristina tried putting the spoon into novella's mouth, but she refused and turned her head away. she looked so different, so lifeless. none of them knew what to do anymore.

"i am not hungry." she only said, with a blink of an eye. even blinking looked hard for her to do. she's had cancer for three months, but why does it seem like there wouldn't be a tomorrow?

of course there would be. they were just being crazy.

"come on, please. i need to get back to work and you need to eat. if you don't, i'm gonna have to give you a feeding tube and you won't be able to move." novella's big baby eyes turned toward her mother, the same ones that were previously very small and hidden. cristina could sense how her words affected her, and she almost sighed in relief before anything even happened. she inched the spoon closer to her mouth, and this time, novella opened and swallowed the soup whole.

"that's it. good." cristina nodded her head and put the spoon back in the bowl. she set it down on the bed and watched her daughter chew whatever what was left in her mouth. just knowing she took one spoonful felt so good for no reason.

cristina took another spoonful, blew on it, then moved it over to novella's mouth, who again, gulped it all down.

"so, have you read that book i got you?" she felt like the only thing they ever talked about was how she was feeling or when her next round of chemo would be. she knew novella was extremely tired of it.

"daddy wouldn't let me read it." she said, her voice weak but a little less monotonous than before. cristina pretended to gasp, which caused novella to smile only a little bit.