Moving Mountains (Patrick Kane)

One Without the Other .1

Valerie

What is there to gain, if not for sacrifice? What is pleasure if not for pain? You can't have one without the other. Positives without negatives. Yin without Yang. A sunrise without the sun falling every night. We like to look at these things as opposites, but without one there is no other. We would never know happiness if we had never been sad. Never know a good time if things don't go bad.

And we would never know love, if we never felt hate.

People refuse to see things like that. That's why we get hurt. We're so good at convincing ourselves that we can have one without the other when in reality these things are synonymous. But we're human, feelings aren't meant to be understood. That would make things too easy. From the start we are made to believe that opposites have nothing to do each other even though their very existence relies on one another.

I never understood why we put things against each other. Democrats or republicans, cats or dogs. The faithful versus the non believers. Why we put so much pressure to make diamonds when no one would shine in a world full of diamonds. And at one point everyone was just a piece of coal.

We can be a little bit of everything, this need to chose is a ideal rather than a way of life. We're a bunch of different things merged together so why do we so often have to chose one or another? It doesn't seem fair. Sinners and saints, we all walk the same paths up until the end. Our place isn't with one or the other, rather somewhere in between right and wrong. Good and bad.

Having a mindset like this doesn't make you the most popular person in the world. Growing up people didn't pay me much attention. And I liked it that way, it was easier to move in a room full of liquids than solids. So I didn't commit to anything, stayed loose and open. Moved throughout life like a river and not a mountain. Never found anything permanent like the latter. Didn't really have friends. I wasn't close with my family and I don't really want to be. This idea of forced love, it wasn't my favorite. The idea of love in general wasn't my thing either. We make it out to be so perfect, so wonderful all the damn time. But someone could beat someone to a pulp and still love them. Leave them forever and still have this feeling like part of them was left behind. We put that pressure on a feeling that no matter how hard you press will never be a diamond. And it shouldn't be.

But what do I know about love? I don't love my fellow workers or my siblings, never fell in love with anyone before. Never stuck to anything long enough to know what it would be like to miss it when it's gone. Is it a sad existence? Yeah, probably. But you can't hurt someone who isn't around, you know?

This windy May morning I decide to hit the streets of Chicago. They can be unkind and ugly some times, but you'll never see the beauty without it. So you take this city in strides, love what you can, hate what you should. The most important part is to keep moving forward. Don't get stuck in someplace you don't belong.

"Help! Someone help" a loud screech sounds and everyone on the streets stop. Eyes dart around the tall buildings, trying to figure out where the screaming came from and why. There's dozens of people out here and not a lot of answers.

The next second I see someone round the corner wearing all black. It as a bit hot for the attire so I know this was a deliberate attempt to blend into the shadows. They had a strong build and had to be over six feet tall. A mask covering everything but their eyes. They had a white purse in their hands as they look around trying to plot out their next move. It was obvious this person had never done something like this before. You don't hesitate like that with experience. And he was a bigger guy but with the way he moved he obviously wasn't athletic. This was a poorly thought out plan meaning there was many ways to foil it.

So I do what any sane person does and I watch. All my life I've watched, I've learned. Analyzed every situation so I won't be in the position where I can't help someone when they needed it. And nothing was more obvious than what this guys next move was.

I find a abandoned crate on the ground and decide this will do. As the man goes exactly where I knew he would so I toss the crate in front of his feet sending him flying. The purse pops out of his arms and onto the ground a few feet away from me. Someone else picks it up and the frantic woman retrieves her things. The robber gets chased off and I think he learned his lesson. Shouldn't be happening again from him at least.

"Where did that crate come from" someone asks.

"It came from the middle of nowhere" another adds.

I smile to myself as I turn around and walk away. My feet head towards my original destination before getting stopped again. This time by running into someone.

I look up to see a pair of piercing blue eyes. Some of those diamonds I was talking about earlier were scattered in there. A baseball cap contained his blonde curls but not his bushy eyebrows. The man just stands there staring down at me, not to intimidate or scare me. But to learn about me, as much as his eyes will tell him.

"That wasn't a very smart thing to do" he starts as I raise a eyebrow. It's always great until a man opens his mouth...

"Oh? So I should have sat there and done nothing. Like you" I ask.

"Or you could have waited for the police. That man was twice your size. You could have gotten hurt" he tries.

"I appreciate your concern...." I trail off.

"Patrick" he informs me.

"Patrick. But I don't put fate into the hands of others. No offense but if I waited for the police that poor kid probably would still be face down on the cement with seven warning shots in his back and he wouldn't be getting up again" I explain.

"Poor kid? He just tried to rob someone" he reminds me.

"And he failed. From what I can tell he had never done anything like that before and will likely never do it again. Plus who are we to decide punishment? Pardon me for thinking petty theft isn't a death sentence" I defend.

"And what if he turned to attack you? What then" he challenges. I sit there for a moment to think, because I really didn't take that scenario into consideration. Though it was highly unlikely it was still a possibility that he would come for me. Or worse off go after someone else he thought was me. "Did you even think this through" he questions.

"I don't believe in thoughts, only actions. You should try it sometime" I scoff.

I try and walk around him but he reaches out to stop me. His hand resting on my shoulder to see if I would play into his hands. If I wanted to I could have easily pushed through him. He wasn't going to hurt me in some feeble attempt to keep me around. But something about his touch told me I should hear him out.

"Are you okay" he asks softly. My mean expression softens as I take a step back.

"Why do you ask" I question.

He finally looks up and I can get a real good look at him. He had some freckles on his face and some stubble across his chin. Those eyes seemed dark yet lit up the whole street.

"Does there need to be a reason" he asks.

"There's always a reason" I say.

He finally lets go of my shoulder before stepping back. "I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have bothered you. Thank you for what you did, what we all failed to do. I'm sure that lady was really appreciative" he sighs.

"I don't know. I didn't talk to her" I shrug causing him to look at me like I'm crazy. "I helped because I can. Because I should. There's nothing more to it. The kid is gone and she has her things. She can file a police report or go on with her day. I don't care."

"I find that hard to believe" he accuses.

"And what do you know about me" I question.

"Nothing really. Just that you think with your heart and not your brain. That's gonna get you hurt" he claims.

"Don't worry your pretty little head" I chuckle. "I'll be fine. I promise."

Finally I get past him as he lets me by. But I could feel his eyes burning through me. So I turn around to hear what he wanted to say.

"I never got your name" he calls out. I guess we never got to it.

"Valerie" I say.