Moving Mountains (Patrick Kane)

Truly Alone .5

Patrick

Now that it's the end of the May I flip into the public as one of its own. We didn't get past the first round of the playoffs and there wasn't much left for me back home in Buffalo. So I stick around Chicago. Hang out with friends and do whatever I feel like. The world is my oyster.

So why am I stuck up in my apartment thinking about some girl? Someone who doesn't share a single common thought and kinda drives me crazy. But god she had me wrapped around her finger.

"Please" I beg into the phone.

"Patrick I seriously am starting to regret ever calling you" Val accuses from her side of the phone.

"Come on, you can't get enough of me" I tease.

"I've had enough" she claims.

"You know I could be trying to hang out with all my friends but I would rather hang out with you. Doesn't that count for something" I ask.

"The company you keep is nothing I yearn for. Being surrounded by people doesn't mean you're not lonely. You can be with those people yet want to be anywhere else in the world, that's no way to spend your time. I might not have anyone I care to spend my time with but I don't act like I do either.

Tell me Patrick, when you're surrounded by all those friends, do you still feel lonely" she asks.

I feel my heart bang against my chest as I fall into the wall behind me. Everything I push down inside of me threatening to get out.

"I don't feel lonely" I say barley above a whisper.

"Yeah? That's why you're begging to hang out with a stranger rather than the dozens of people you already know, right? I think you're just as lonely as I am. I can see it in your smile. I was watching you at the restaurant. It was the kind of smile that's forced, it's made up. And you use it to hide the fact that you would rather be alone than surrounded by the kind of company you keep.

Patrick you don't deserve that. Not in the least. I know loneliness is scary but it's better to be alone and true than surrounded by lies" she tells me.

A soft sigh passes my lips as I shake my head. This girl pulls me in further and further with every word that passes those soft lips.

"Please. Can I see you? Then I wouldn't feel so alone anymore" I admit.

She stops for a second letting the line fall silent. I felt like I was going to throw up as I waited for her to say something, anything.

"What about sushi" she asks and I smile. Food seemed to be the only thing I could get her to open up about.

"I would love some" I admit.

We met up at my favorite sushi place since she had no preference of where to eat as long as she got pot stickers and a volcano roll. She still wore nothing but black even on this hot day. But I kind of liked it, the lack of colors she wore made her hazel eyes bright and it was easier to focus on what she said.

"You look nice" I try as she looks at me weird.

"What are you doing" she asks.

"I'm giving you a compliment Valerie" I say.

"Why" she questions and I stop.

"You can't be serious" I try.

"I very much am" she claims.

"I think you look nice. I told you what I'm thinking. That's it" I defend.

"Oh" she says. "Then you look nice... as well."