Moving Mountains (Patrick Kane)

Sunflower .10

Patrick

I have to admit, I was a little harsh to Valerie the other day. In the end someone needs to tell her this stuff, I just hate that it had to me. There's nothing in this life that would make me happier than breaking down that wall she built. And the one behind that one and the one behind that one. Freeing all the amazing things I know she keeps in there. Behind the wall lays untapped potential, space for memories and tons of love. It seemed almost impossible to get all the bricks down. It's like I take one off and right behind it is another wall. She was a impenetrable force and I was no match.

I tried apologizing but she wasn't answering me. She needed time and I needed to give her space. But all she's ever had was space. She also needed someone in her life who, when times got hard, didn't give up on her. There's far too much that I hold close to me that comes from her, I wasn't going to let her go this easily.

So I decide to find something nice for her to show that I only said those things because I cared. If I didn't care I would let her continue to be a victim in her own life. I wouldn't give a damn how her actions cause reactions that in the end only cause her pain. But I do and I'm not going to let her go any more days getting less than what she deserves.

But getting her a gift was hard. Again she doesn't have a favorite color or movie, no pass-times or hobbies. All the things I like most about her are not material and cannot be materialized. So what do I do?

After walking around I find something that I think would be perfect. Something she might actually use. I toss the small box in the bag and head to the restaurant. I didn't want to cause a scene but I also didn't want it to seem like I wasn't going to make a effort to reconcile. Because I am. So I get seated at a table and ask for her assistance. Tell them it was urgent and I needed to see her.

"You know people wait months for reservations here so you constantly walking in here taking up a table and not ordering stuff is mighty inconsiderate" she starts.

"Can I ever get a hello from you" I ask as she scoffs.

"Hello Patrick. What can I get for you" she questions.

"I'm not hungry" I admit.

"I'm not talking to you if you don't order" she claims. She was too damn stubborn for her own good. I swear it.

"Alright. The 10 ounce steak and a side of asparagus" I say knowing that's what she liked.

"What's your second side" she asks.

"What do you reccommend" I ask.

"The lobster mac" she answers.

"Okay, that then" I nod.

"Thank you" she says turning around on her heel.

"Hold on hold on" I say softly grabbing her wrist. She stops in her spot as I feel her jump at my touch. So I let her go and she was nice enough to turn back. "You said we could talk if I ordered" I remind her.

"I am working" she refreshes my memory.

"It'll take a second, I promise" I beg.

It takes her a few moments but she breaks down. Her note pad falls to her side as she stares down at me. "You have one minute" she bargains.

"That's all I need.

First of all I wanted to apologize. I let my emotions get the better of me and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I meant what I said but not how I said it. While I think you are way too nice and that you don't think about your well being enough I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. I truly apologize.

And second of all I just wanted to give you this" I say handing her the box from the bag. She doesn't even reach a hand out as she stares at it. "It's not gonna jump out at you" I assure her.

"I don't like gifts" she claims.

"Please. Just look at it" I beg.

Finally she takes the box and releases the black bow. She opens it up and finds a yellow sunflower brooch. A small gasp escapes her lips as she pulls it out.

"It's adorable" she admits.

"I know you never said that yellow was your favorite color, but you didn't give me much to work with. And you like flowers a lot so I figured, I don't know. It was something I saw and thought of you. To me you're still the suns reflection and so a sunflower seemed fitting with it also being something that it couldn't thrive without the sun. You can add it to whatever and it'll give it some color. And when people ask about it you can tell them your friend got it for you" I say.

"Pat" she gasps and I smile. She's always called me Patrick, up until now. I liked it when she called me Pat.

"It's nothing crazy. Something I'm sure there are tons in the world. But this one is special because it's yours" I explain.

"It's very lovely" she says with a small smile.

"Doesn't make up for the shitty things I said, but I think you deserve something like this" I admit.

"I'm gonna put it on now" she nods.

She gets the broach on and the smile on her face was painted there. I'm not sure she's really gotten a gift before, not just for the heck of it at least. I hope she knows she's deserving of this and so much more.

I let her get back to work and ask another waiter for my bill. I pay for the food and leave a nice tip before writing her name on the box the food came in. She can have the food for lunch or give it to the homeless man again. Whatever she would like.

I walk back to where I came from but stop when I see someone selling actual sun flowers. They stand tall and strong, just like her. They are admired by those brave enough to go find them. And with some watering and some help, they reach heights people only dream of. I hope she grows to those heights too.

After walking for a while I make it home. I wash up and jump up on the couch to watch some tv. Around 4 pm my phone goes off and I see a text from Val. She's more of a caller than a texter, said it gets the conversation over quicker. So I wasn't sure what she wanted. And nothing could prepare me for what I saw.

"Hey Patrick. I just wanted to thank you again for what you did earlier. If I reacted weirdly it's because I truly don't know how to act when people get me something, especially if I did nothing to deserve it. The brooch is beautiful and I've already gotten tons of compliments.

And you were right for what you said the other night, all of it. I know exactly what I'm doing when I jump at the chance to help another knowing it gives me less time to work on myself. I also can accidentally neglect my own needs in the process. Thanks for not just letting me get hurt. And thank you for being you."