Moving Mountains (Patrick Kane)

Moving Forward .57

Valerie

The end is a concept very few feel comfortable with. To most the end means that there is nothing left afterwords. But until the end is death that is not true. Life after the end is always scary because who knows what comes next. Inevitably thangs change but it's never what you want. It's things you have not control over that never seem to come back.

I've seen a lot of things through to the end. All my jobs. My trust in humanity. My grandma. And in the end life always keeps going. They say "it's not the end of the world" but that's not true. It's the end of the world as we know it so in a way, it is. It's so hard to know which feelings to dwell on and which ones to let go. But eventually we must realize that the end cannot be prolonged and it cannot be ignored anymore. We must make peace with what was, take our lessons and move on.

I lay on top of Patrick's car that was parked outside of the United Center. I cheered him on in the last game of the season which went just as well as the rest of them went. And considering they're not going to be playing any more hockey you can tell what that means. But I was proud of him anyway. He never gave up, never kicked his feet up and let fate take the wheel. He kept his hands on there and made his own path.

It starts to get late and I wonder if he was ever going to come out. Finally I hear the car honk and I knew he was on his way. But I stay laid atop the hood, my eyes set on the sky. It wasn't quite summer but the stars were out. Painting such a beautiful picture it could never be caught on camera.

"You gonna stay there while I drive" Patrick teases.

"Why don't you join me" I ask.

"You're about to give me another life lesson, aren't you" he accuses.

"We can drive home in silence if that's what you prefer" I counter.

I hear the door open and him toss his things in the back before closing the door. He hops on the hood of the car and I smile to myself. Sometimes it was too easy with him.

My head rests on his chest as I listen to my favorite song in the world, which is the beating of his heart. My fingers tangle in his shirt as we just lay there.

"What do I do now? Where do I go" he asks me breaking up the silence.

"Forward. That's the only place to go from here. We can't go back, we can't change things. And we can't stay in one moment either. Life always moves forward and if we're not careful it'll leave us behind.

I know it's tough, for things to end this way. And I know you did everything you could for this team. Always had. But it helps no one to sit here and beat yourself up. There will never be another yesterday, or another today, but there's always tomorrow" I assure him.

"God... I don't deserve you" he claims and I roll my eyes.

"No one deserves anyone. That's some shitty concept society made us believe. That we need to be a certain way to receive love. I love you because of our differences as well as our similarities. I love you for who you are, and everything you plan to be. And you deserve a lot of things but you and me... we're with each other. Not for" I insist.

"I know. But it doesn't stop me for feeling damn lucky to have you by my side. With me. Forever" he claims.

"How do you know this is forever" I ask him.

"Because if it's not... then I don't want it" he proclaims.

"What if- what if something happens" I try.

"I know you Val, you wouldn't do anything without good reason. Even when you're doing something crazy or inconsiderate to yourself you still have meaning. A goal. As long as I understand that I don't see why we would ever not see eye to eye. We could overcome anything, as long as we're together" he insists.

"But we're so different, we're bound not to agree at some point" I remind him.

"Our differences are the only reason we work so well. You're the moon and I'm the sun. You're the stars and I'm the sky. You're the sunrise and I'm the sun set. We can't have one without the other. Though we might be opposites one does not exist without the other.

So yeah maybe we don't seem the most compatible. Look at the start of our relationship and anyone can see that. But I never cared about that. If I was with another person just like me it would never last. I'm far too unknowing to last with another person who can't see the world for all that it is. That's why I need you. And you need me because I see the world for all that it can be. Together we can have a happy life, that much I know for certain" he insists.

"But everything must come to an end. Good and bad" I remind him.

"That I know all too well. But if I learned anything from you so that the end of one this is also the beginning of another, right? So maybe our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend will end and we will be fiancés. Then that one will end too and we will be husband and wife. Maybe our life here in Chicago will end and we will have to go someplace else, then we will start new again.

Honestly no matter what happens to us, as long as we're together I don't care" he admits.

I just smile as I watch the stars in the sky. He makes them seem like they're not so far away. I was lucky because he might be learning from me but he's taught me a lot too. Time is relative and we never know how much we have left. That's why it's important to spend it wisely. And he's got big plans for the future, bigger than my wildest dreams. I trust him to guide me in the right direction and to continue to show me how to live along the way.

"So what's next for us" I wonder.

"Anything we want, really. The world is the sand, let's make some footprints" he claims.