Places & Souvenirs - CAGAYAN 3 - PJ, I Love You

Part 6

SIX months later.

I've been lookin' at people and how they changed their mind

And lately all I've been seein' are people throwing love away and losin' their minds.

"There goes your request, dear Marivic, the song What's Forever For. I'm happy na may katulad mong sumusulat dito sa show para lang mag-request ng kanta. Not that I'm fed up of those letters. Masaya lang ako dahil hindi pala lahat ng sumusulat dito ay may problemang hinihingan ng kaunting advice. Dear listeners, please enjoy that music. And after that, we'll read this letter from somebody who wanted to be called Miss Confused."

Tinanggal ni Jenny ang suot na headphone at binasa uli ang sulat na nakatakda niyang basahin on air. Bago ang airing ng show ay napili na niya ang mga babasahing sulat. Nakapag-isip na rin siya ng piece of advice na sasabihin. Pero sa particular na sulat na iyon, hindi niya sigurado kung tama nga ba ang advice na sasabihin niya.

The letter was about whether to lose or to keep her virginity to her boyfriend of three years. Nang mabasa niya iyon, a week ago, hindi na niya sana tatapusing basahin. Hindi iyon ang unang beses na nakaengkuwentro siya ng ganoong klase ng sulat. In fact, halos ganoon ang paksa ng mga senders sa kanya na nabibilang sa young adults. Iyon ngang iba, ni wala pang disiotso!

She was conservative. Pagdating sa ganoong bagay, hindi na niya kailangang matagal na mag-isip. Marriage first before sex. Pero hindi niya alam kung dapat niyang ibando sa mga nakikinig sa kanya sa ere ang prinsipyo niyang iyon.

Alam niya, nagpalit na ng milenyo. Mabilis na ang usad ng panahon at hindi na masyadong malaking issue ang pre-marital sex. Pero nag-iisip pa rin siya. Bakit may mga sumusulat sa kanya upang itanong kung bibigay na ba o maghihintay pa?

At ang naiisip niya, ibig lang sabihin noon ay may mga babae pa ring hindi pa lubos na yumayakap sa liberasyon. Mayroon pa ring mga babaeng naipit sa pagiging konserbatibo at pagnanais na makasunod din sa agos ng lipunan.

Tiningnan niya ang monitor sa harapan niya. Patapos na ang kantang isinalang niya. This is it. Wala nang atrasan. Bago niya isuot uli ang headphone ay isang paghinga ang ginawa niya. Gusto niyang isipin na tama lang ang naisip niyang solusyon.

"Hello again, dear listeners," malamyos ang tinig na wika niya. "This is Jenny, your friend on-the-air. Medyo mahirap ang sitwasyon ni Miss Confused so I'm asking all of you to help her. Please pick up your phone and call me here. Kayo rin po, puwede kayong magsabi ng advice ninyo para kay Miss Confused. But of course, let's read first her letter. Here it goes..."

Dear Jenny,

Hi, there! I'm one of your listeners in your show Life's Spice. I appreciate your little advices on those senders and I think that's good and true. Sometimes, I felt that if I were also on your shoe, I would also give the same advice. But this time, it's me who need an advice. I felt that I couldn't tell myself what to do. Please help me.

I'm twenty-two years old and currently working at a private firm as a marketing assistant. My boyfriend wanted us to get married now. He has a stable job and three years older than me. Financially speaking, puwede na kaming magpakasal. In fact, when I started to work, he suggested na magsimula na kaming mag-ipon for our future. We opened a joint account at regular naman naming nalalagyan iyon. Jim, my boyfriend, being a bigger earner had more contribution in that savings.

Wala kaming problema sa pera, Jenny. Hindi rin issue kung sino ang mas malaki ang naiipon sa joint account. But what bothers me now is his marriage proposal. Nagsimula na siyang mangulit ng tungkol doon three months ago. I love him. If I would only think of emotional matter, I would say yes. Definitely.

Pero may mga pangarap pa ako. I feel I'm still young to get married. I want to be successful in my career, first. And my career demands a lot of time. Hindi ko yata magagawang pagsabayin ang career at married life.

Madalas na kaming mag-away dahil doon. Nagagalit si Jim dahil hindi naman daw pala siya ang priority ko. Oftentimes, I told him how much I love him. Iyon nga lang, hindi pa ako ready na magpakasal.

Now, he wanted another thing. Kung hindi pa raw ako handang magpakasal, maybe, we could do what married couple normally do. Yes, Jenny. He wanted us to make love. I'm proud to say I'm still a virgin. During our two years relationship, I only allowed him kisses and embrace. Ayokong lumampas doon. I have set my limitations at gusto kong panindigan iyon. I want to be a virgin bride.

My two older sisters were already pregnant when they got married. I know that devastated my parents. Ayokong pati ako ay magaya sa kanila. I wanted to be different. Besides, that's one of the values my mother taught me years ago.

What will I do? Jim seemed getting impatient more and more everyday. Sabi niya, magagawa raw niyang maghintay kung kailan ako handang magpakasal sa kanya kung may mangyayari na sa amin ngayon. Parang gusto ko nang pumayag. Kaya lang, in my heart, alam kong laban naman iyon sa prinsipyo ko.

I love him so much. I can't imagine myself getting married to any other man. Pero hindi pa ako handang magpakasal. At sa palagay ko, mapilit man niya ako na may mangyari na sa amin, hindi ko rin buong-pusong gagawin iyon. My conscience won't give in.

Please help me, Jenny. Enlighten me...

"Dear listeners, my line is now open for you. Please call me at tulungan natin si Miss Confused sa kanyang problema. And for those texters, let's make a survey, would you say 'Yes, Miss Confused, go ahead and be liberated.' or 'No, you get married first.' Meanwhile, we'll pause for a commercial break. Pagbalik po natin, pag-usapan po natin ito."

--- itutuloy ---

Maraming salamat sa pagbabasa.

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