The Girl Who Lived

Little White Pills

June 11th, 1996

TW: Overdose

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The steam from the shower clouded the bathroom in a foggy haze. The air was moist and everything felt damp but it didn't matter.

Elena Clairmont took a look in the mirror and wanted to tear her reflection to shreds for looking the way she did.

Last night had not been kind to her at all. Between watching her only mother figure being nearly murdered before her and killing a man and attacking Umbridge, Elena was exhausted more than she had ever been but still, she wouldn't give into the nightmares that waited for her in her sleep.

Her lip was split, bruised over the scar Fred had left. Bruises everywhere, she felt her ribs shatter when Umbridge had thrown her into a wall. Had felt her spleen bleed when Umbridge stepped on her stomach. Her vision and hearing had been going out all morning from the after effects of a Cruciatus curse that had her screaming and delusional. These injuries had only reopened the wound at Elena's side and blown the patch the Healer had placed over her brain in the Ministry. It had given her more injuries than when she had returned.

Elena didn't care about anything after she had flung the knife at Umbridge and initiated a fight. It was as though Elena was feeding the savage beast that prowled under her skin and slitting officer Prennen's throat was the appetizer.

The black and white lines between good and bad had blurred into gray a long time ago.

She couldn't remember how she ended up in her dorm last night. All she remembered was digging her nails into Umbridge's cheek and being beaten until she couldn't remember her name.

Elena didn't know how it had happened. She had no recollection of how she ended up gripping Umbridge's face with her nails or how Umbridge had managed to get away and use the Cruciatus on her. Somehow, Elena would never be able to shake off the pain that the curse caused, even if it wasn't the first time it had been used against her.

Umbridge released her grip on the Cruciatus curse and Elena sobbed in relief. She wasn't sad, she wasn't pathetic, she was angry. Fueled by insanity and anger, she felt like a raging fire and perhaps she was. Elena didn't know how she had energy left in her body or how she could still move with the extent of the injuries she had never healed and had gained tonight.

If Elena's count was accurate, Umbridge had kicked her stomach and grabbed her by the braids and smashed her head into a wall multiple times. She felt blood running down her lip and a gash in the back of her head.

Umbridge kicked Elena's stomach again and the wind rushed out of her, spurts of blood coming out. Her foot didn't leave Elena's abdomen, it only pressed harder into the soft tissue and Elena screamed in agony.

"You know- You know I'll s-still kill y-you." Elena cried, trying her best to ignore the burning sensation in her abdomen. It felt like her skin was ripping apart cell by cell.

Even then, if she was ripped apart, she wouldn't stop fighting.

Elena's hands held onto the white countertop as she stared at herself in the mirror. The split lip, the bruises, the dried blood on her face and neck which was a combination of her and Prennen.

Malfoy would either be furious towards her or proud of her- there would be no "in between" of his feelings towards her.

She had never dared tell him about anything that happened in the Ministry because she knew he would never forgive her for letting herself die. She had just been so tired already and she had given everything to protect Sirius just to make sure Harry wouldn't be left alone.