The Girl Who Lived

Deep in the Meadow

February 12th, 1996

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I stared at Malfoy, now standing in the snow, his hands clasped around his book.

"Have you killed someone? Couldn't say I would be surprised if you had- especially with everything those parents teach you and whatnot." I snorted, taking a sliced apple out of my bag. A small slice went into the mouth of a large Thestral.

I nearly smiled until I remembered I wasn't alone.

His face was red, perhaps from the cold or maybe from anger. I raised a brow, waiting for his response as I sat down in the middle of the meadow, my backside freezing from the snow.

"Are you following me?" I asked, watching the sun shine. I loathed it.

He snorted, almost looking amused. "Don't flatter yourself. You're nothing special."

"Watch your tongue, Malfoy. Death-eaters are at large right now. I turn you in and I'll be swimming in gold and satisfaction while they throw you in Azkaban." I sighed, not even bothering to laugh.

"Do you think that I can persuade the Aurors to give you a cell next to your pathetic father?" I clenched my hand around my wand.

"At least mine is breathing, Mudblood cunt." I snarled, turning to my right and seeing him sitting, watching me with reckless hatred. Son of a fucking bitch-

"Don't you dare say a word against my father! He was a good man. Mine didn't practice Dark Arts and then be a coward in front of the Ministry!" I said, all jokes fading away into the snow underneath us. "What do you know about death? You know nothing."

His fists were clenched- like he may hit me again. Maybe I would feel something other than anger if he did. "I know nothing? How dare you-"

"You haven't heard the words or seen the green light come from the wand." I started, feeling the empty feeling creep under my skin once more.

"It should've been you dead instead." He held his head high, staring off into the trees. I want to say his words hurt but they were no different than every thought I've had in the past several months that Cedric has been in my head.

All of those unsaid feelings, the built up anger and regret, all of it, spilled out into a harsh truth that I tried to outrun since Cedric died. I ran from them. If I spoke something out loud, it would be real. But this? This was real and it was time it was spoken. The truth should come out.

"I wish it had been me." I said. Malfoy's head snapped back to my face, seeing that I was utterly serious. No pity, no sorrow. I wanted to thank him, praise him and cry because he wasn't looking at me like a broken little girl- if that's all I was. He knew not to show anything. This was a first. The rest of it- it all spilled out for the first time since it happened.

"Shut up," He told me, shaking his head with narrow eyes. Draco Malfoy was analyzing my words for the truth.

"You didn't see Cedric get thrown like he was nothing but a liability. You haven't heard him begging you to take his body back to his family. You haven't laid over his body to protect it because it was the least you could fucking do. You didn't watch him fucking die-"

"I don't care." Malfoy said, his throat bobbing. I know he didn't. That was the point, that was my reason.

"That's the point so for fucking once, shut your gods-damned mouth." I breathed into the air, my breath turning into white smoke. "I was the one in that graveyard and I can't seem to forget the smell. It smelled like death, can you believe it?" I shook my head, scoffing and then clearing my throat.