The Girl Who Lived

Facing Elena Clairmont

February 20th, 1996
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I sat in the meadow, slipping off my pantyhose.

Fucking hell, it was freezing. The snow was still there, building up gradually. My long legs were nearly bare and shaking but I didn't care as my bare feet touched the snow. Through shaking breaths, I took off my sweater, leaving me in a thin tank top. I laid back down, my back digging into mounds of snow.

The sky was beautiful tonight. It was dark and snowing once again. There were swirls of navy, black and violet mixing around in the sky with small specks of shining white. Stars were always so beautiful.

Deep inside of my head, a voice, melodic and fierce, was speaking faintly.

"Stars are stories, Elena Jean. They will burn and light up the world, no matter what darkness coats it. Stars will always be there with you when I cannot be. Be a star, my darling."

That voice- my mother's voice. Not Lisa- my Muggle mother. But Isabella- my mother.

A deep sigh rumbled from my chest as I held my hand up in the sky, staring at the ring.

There was a ring on my finger.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. To scream or smile. To play the part or allow myself to unravel.

There would never be a time to be Elena Clairmont. There would never be a time to be free. It wasn't fair. As much as I love him at times, as much as I wanted him always, I could never be who I had become. Someone who didn't care whether their life is ended. Which it would be.

My fate was sealed and nothing could be done to change it. My fate was never going to be good.

Even if I wanted to be the perfect housewife, I would never live long enough to be able to have a family.

How messed up is it to be nearly sixteen and know that I won't live past seventeen?

Behind me, there were Thestrals sleeping soundly. Barely snoring. Somewhere in the distance, there was a stream of water. Unicorns were running around. Centaurs were whispering. Someone was coming.

Wait, someone was coming.

I sat up, propping myself onto my elbows, grabbing my wand from my skirt hem.

A shadow was coming through the trees and my mind faltered for a second. I nearly lowered my wand and let the shadow do whatever it wanted to me.

"Whatever you are, just kill me quickly." I whispered into the mist of snow forming around me. "Don't make it painful."

Quiet and practiced footsteps stepped into the clearing and I watched the moonlight shine onto a head of pale and messy hair.

I laid back down, tossing my wand aside and keeping my view on the sky.

"Feeling a tad suicidal tonight, are we?" Draco Malfoy asked, hands in pockets as he looked down at my nearly naked body.

I didn't have the energy to do a single thing. I stayed still, my head pounding loudly.

"Why are you lying there?" He asked. "Are you trying to freeze yourself to death?"