Pretend (johnnyboy & curtis sister x cherry)

Chapter 25: Practicing

Johnny and I get ready for the day and then hide in our room. Neither of us feels like playing pretend quite yet. We can hear the gang having breakfast in the main part of the house.

"So, what do you wanna do?" I ask Johnny.

"Okay, this is gonna sound really weird but... I think we need to practice being a couple, so it doesn't look awkward when we go out in public." Says Johnny.

"That's a great idea, Johnny."

"So what do couples do?" He asks.

"Kiss, hug, put their arms around each other, whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears, lovey-dovey bullshit" I answer.

"We should probably kiss a few times before we have to in public." He suggests and my stomach takes a dip.

I'm nervous. What if I mess this up? What if it's awkward? I don't even want to kiss him. He's my best friend and I don't think of him like that. I don't think of men like that. I want to kiss a girl. I don't want to kiss him. But I got myself into this mess. I was the one who said I was his girlfriend. It's my fault. I helped Cherry ask out Ponyboy. It's my fault that Johnny and I are hurting. We have to have our first kisses with people we don't love because of me. Tears start to stream down my cheeks. It's all my fault. I had to help Cherry even though it would break me. I really love her and she's dating my brother. I didn't realize how much this is hurting me until now. My actions have now led to the suffering of me and my best friend in the whole wide world.

"EARTH TO LAVENDER?!" Shouts Johnny.

"I'm sorry." I apologize.

"You just zoned out there and even started crying. Took me forever to get your attention. What were you thinking about?" He asks and I hesitate for a moment. Do I tell him everything that happened? He's my best friend and I can't keep this from him.

"Johnny-" I sob and he puts his arm around me. "Johnny I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"It's all my fault!"

"What's your fault?" He looks me in the eyes and I cry harder. I am heartbroken and I hate seeing the sadness in those abandoned puppy eyes of his. He pulls me closer and I cry into his shirt, just like he cried into mine last night. "Just tell me what's going on when you're ready. Okay?"

After about five minutes, I stop crying.

"So remember the other day when I went to the diner with Cherry?"

"Yeah? How'd that even go? You never told me."

"Well, we got to the diner and Marcia was already there. Me, Cherry, and Marcia all sat at a table together. I was a little upset that it wasn't gonna be one-on-one with me and Cherry. And then I found out the real reason she invited me. She didn't want to get to know me better and it definitely wasn't a date. She invited me because she needed help asking out Pony. And I'm really truly sorry and it's my biggest regret in life. I helped Cherry figure out what to say when she asked him. I'm so sorry Johnny. I couldn't say no to her. I'm so, so sorry. You have every right to be mad at me. I'm just so stupid and made a horrible decision that hurt both of us. You probably hate me now." I bury my face in my hands.

We sit in silence for a few minutes and Johnny stares ahead at the wall. He hates me. I ruined everything and broke our trust. He's never gonna talk to me again. What if he doesn't want to share a room anymore? What if he moves out? He can't go back and live without those horrid beings he calls mom and dad. I won't allow it.

"So, do you hate me?" I finally ask him.

"No."

"Are you disappointed in me?"

"No."

"Not even a little bit?"

"We all make mistakes and make stupid decisions. And besides, she was going to ask him out whether you helped her or not. And Pony is happy with Cherry, and I'm happy for him. So, no, I'm not mad at you. But I really am sorry about dumping all of my problems on you last night. You were hurting too, but I only focused on my own heartbreak. Are you okay?"

"No," I say and he pulls me in for another hug. People should normalize platonically cuddling. It's quite nice.

After a while, I sit back up and face him. Johnny looks deep into my eyes and kisses me. The kiss is short, but I spend the whole time wishing he was Cherry. It feels pretty disgusting to kiss him. It's like kissing my brother. I'm sure I'll get used to it with time.

"Sorry Lav, someone had to initiate it."

"It's fine."

"But I was totally pretending you were Pony the whole time."

"And I was pretending you were Cherry" I laugh.