As The Music Dies

10. Mixed Signals

The ride home after Katsuki came outside shorty after the greenett took off was painfully quiet.

Too quiet, so fucking quite Katsuki hates the damn car itself.

He knew things were going to be awkward now, I mean how couldn't they be?? He pulled back from the sweetest kiss he's ever felt like an idiot because fear and pain have a hold on him still and that alone pisses him off.

There's so many things he wants to say. So many things he needs to say to clear this up without hurting the greenett next to him.

Izuku has said a few words to him but nothing like it normally is and even tho the greenett had told him it was fine a million times over Katsuki isn't stupid and this most definitely isn't fine and the hurt that flashed in green eyes when the blonde pulled away was proof of it too.

He sighs the sound almost coming out like a growl because he's so damn frustrated and upset.

They pull into the parking lot of the building before any other thought can be processed.

They walked into the building slowly side by side but feeling a million miles apart.

The silent tension makes Katsuki clench his jaw with uneasy stress.

He watches the greenett out of the corner of his eye seeing a face that still holds traces of humiliation and hurt making Katsuki's stomach knot.

Suddenly the very quiet voice of the greenett breaks in.

" Um thanks for the ride Kacchan, have a good night"

Before Izuku can get to the elevator tho Katsuki stops him.

" Deku wait..just.. just wait a second ok?"

The greenett slowly turns around meeting crimson eyes.

The blonde guides him to a more private corner of the lobby to talk to him lowering his voice to keep the conversation private.

" Like I told you before I'm bad as fuck with words but ... but I really need to say something..."

Izuku shakes his head his eyes not meeting the blondes.

" No Kacchan, you really don't need to"

" Yes, yes I do Deku i definitely fucking do. I hate the way this shit feels and fuck I don't want you to be hurt and before you say anything I know you are I can see it"

The greenett is quite as Katsuki takes him in, he sighs leaning in closer.

" Deku. That kiss, however short it was because of me was fucking amazing and I mean that. I'm not sure I've ever felt more emotion poured into anything, and right now for me that's scary as fuck, I just don't think I'm ready yet mostly because I'm still so god damn angry and untrusting still. I don't want to take that shit out on you."

He pauses watching Izuku try and bite back his feelings by biting his lip.

His heart aches seeing tears that he knows want to fall.

He speaks again.

" Please don't think that.. that I don't find you attractive because fuck I do. First time I saw you even tho I was pissed off and bitter I had a rough time keeping my eyes off you. If I could create the perfect image of a guy for me , you would fucking be it. The hair, the eyes , the god damn freckles even the the glasses. I mean fuck Deku I could so, so easily take you back to my place and make your eyes roll all night but I don't think you would be happy just having me physically even if thats all I feel like I can give you right now and to be honest I think way more of you then that, you aren't just some cheap lay that I would send out the door in the morning. I .. I wouldn't do that to you."