Widows bite N.R

Chapter 6: God?

After breakfast wanda took me back to my room, nat offered to take me but i'd rather go back with someone i know. it's not like i don't want to get to know nat but i'm scared, she's The black widow and i'm just me, she shouldn't have to deal with my bullshit it's bad enough wanda has to. When we got back to my room she offered to stay with me but i didn't want to inconvenience her anymore than i already have, and i figured time to myself would help me think.

So there i am laying in a starfish position thinking about all the things i could of done to change things, the things i could of said, i should of shut down the party as soon as i got there, i should've left with aspen when she asked, i should've kicked buenos out the moment i saw him. None of these thoughts are going to change what happened though, then my phone goes off i didn't even realise i had it on me. I sat there staring at it for a few moments before i plucked up the courage and turned it on

Trevi boy💩💩:
-Where are you -2:30am
-Buenos got arrested and Aspens gone -3:00am
-Hey i don't know where u went but we r worried -3:30am
-Y/N please text me back we need to know you're ok -4:30am

Fuck

                       Dumb bitch👅✌️:
                        -hey trev don't worry i'm fine

Trevi boy💩💩:
-thank god Y/N we were panicking where are you?
                     

                      Dumb bitch👅✌️:

                    - i'm fine i'm at stark tower

Trevi boy💩💩:
- i'm not even going to ask, we're sorting out a funeral kind of thing for asp could you come down to the track later today?
                    
                     Dumb bitch👅✌️:
                    - Sure i'll come down around 3:00

Trevi boy💩💩:
-👌

god damn it, the track is literally the last place i want to be right now. "FUCK" i yell while falling back into my bed "Ms Y/L/Y are you alright" wtf wtf wtf where did that come from, i know i'm 25 but i am hiding under my blankets, it's not my fault a random voice came out of nowhere. now i know what i'm about to say is going to sound stupid but i have to rule out all possibilities "God?" the voice chuckled robotically that didn't sound like god "No Ms Y/L/N i am jarvis mr starks AI" of course the jackass has a robot in the walls i wasn't told about. i check my phone again and it 2:15, so i get up and wash my face in the on suite which is really nice by the way and start looking for the exit.

i'm walking the halls that honestly seem like they go on forever and i turn a corner just to run into someone, i look up and there she is i swear to god i got lost in her eyes. god that sounded cheesy, "Y/N?". "Huh?" i blink and look away hoping she didn't notice me staring but she 100% did, "i said are you going somewhere" she asks eyeing my outfit. Now do i tell her where i'm going or do i lie, wait why would i lie it's not like i'm under house arrest or something, i dont even know why i'm her. "i'm going to see my friends we're sorting out a funeral or something for aspen", why'd i use her name Nat probably doesn't even know who im talking about. "Ok, dinners at 8" she says, is she expecting me to come back or something? "m'kay, bye" i say before realizing i still don't know my way out of this labyrinth "where's the exit?", "First floor's the lobby you can use the staff exit is behind the desk, let them know i gave you permission." I nod and head to the lift, the doors close behind me and the elevator music starts playing and i can't help but laugh.

After leaving the building i stand there for a moment realising i don't even have a car. Fuck. Uber it is, lets just hope he's not chatty. A twenty minute torturously chatty uber drive later im standing there outside the last place i saw aspen, the last place i used my powers, the last place i lost control. I try to walk but it feels as if i've left my body,  i'm just standing there stiff as a soldier before a hand touches my shoulder, "Everyones inside, they're waiting for us" the person belonging to the hand speaks who i've now realised is tank. "Ok" is all i said before i took my first steps towards the garage.

A couple hours later we had planned everything out, we didn't have body to burry or ashes to spread due to shield taking her in for 'evidence' whatever that means, just because she's dead doesn't mean she's not a human being. I think it's bullshit. So we collected a few of her favourite items and put them in her car before leaving a brick on the gas as we watched it drive and sink slowly into the water. She's gone and there was nothing I could do, we gather at her favourite spot by the camp grounds and its my turn to make a speech. "Um i'm not really good at stuff like this, Asp was usually here to do the whole speech thing for me, but i guess she isn't anymore so i'll give it a go. She had been there with me through everything, when my parents passed, through the bullying and self hatred stage, as well as the whole powers thing, um. Lets just say she pulled me out of some dark places and i don't think i would be standing here today without her." I look to the fire before throwing a piece of paper in "tomorrow is tuesdays monday my love, I wish you were here with me" I say knowing only Trevor knows what i'm talking about and i hate the fact im not fighting a smile from the confused faces, usually i live for confusing people but today i cant bring myself to feel anything. 

"STOP TALKING LIKE SHE WAS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE Y/N, YOU GUYS WERE FUCK BUDDIES!" comes a voice from behind me, and i turn around and see fucking buenos. Just walk away i told myself, he's not worth it leave before you do something you regret. I close my eyes and compose myself before he says "Asp was a great woman, and an awesome racer, but Y/n ruined her like the womanizer she is." He was talking like he knew her as if it was my fault she's gone "If y/n wasn't trying to prove she's some 'alpha female' aspen wouldn't of been in that situation, I just wanted to enjoy the party but no she had to start shit" At that point i lost it "GET HER FUCKING NAME OUT OF YOUR MAOUTH. YOU'RE SAYING THIS LIKE YOU DIDN'T THROW HER IN FRONT OF THE BULLETS TO SAVE YOUR OWN ASS, IF YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP THOSE ASSHATS YOU SCREWED OVER WOULDN'T HAVE COME. I DARE YOU TO SAY ANOTHER WORD ABOUT ASPEN. YOU DIDN'T KNOW HER. LEAVE!" while saying this i didn't even realise i had backed him towards the bonfire

"LOOK SHE'S CRAZY, are you guys seeing this she's actually trying to kill me" he says trying to feign innocence, but i'm done i just turn and walk back to the garage get in my car and drive. Before i knew it i was back at the tower.

Hey guys it took me a while but it's here i don't know how good it is, but as always feel free to leave suggestions 

Word count: 1286

Later, Laur