Widows bite N.R

Chapter 23: Maybe You Were Right

"Y/n/n?" Natalia asks watching my eyes travel everywhere in the room but not meeting hers, and she reaches up to touch my face "Don't" I say turning on my toes and walking the opposite direction.

I make it to my room very aware of the concerned Russian tailing me, "I don't want to talk, go a way" I say exhaling harshly and holding on to my door frame, I turn and continue into my room gathering clothes from my closet "I'm not in the mood Nat" I say fed up and turn to her "I don't want to kiss you, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to fucking see you." I rant before quietly adding "Just leave"

Nat stands there in shock her eyes watering "Why are you still here" I say finally meeting her eye.

"Because I love you, you idiot." She states as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe, but where was that love when she kissed Steve, where was that love when she gave up on me. I scoff and continue packing my things, "I don't recognise this person y/n" she says shaking her head walking up to me trying to take my hand again but I pull away.

"Natalia, I was with Hydra for 6 fucking years, you don't think that would change a person? I'm sorry but I'm not the same person you loved; she died in that place. In that filthy fucking institution, the one you left her in, she was crushed" I spit and her eyes widen at the name Natalia.

"Don't look at me like that" I chuckle dryly shaking my head once more "Hydra showed me your files, the ones from the red room that is, and I know you real name Natalia. The one you shed after abandoning those girls in that institute" I say emphasising my point tears threatening to spill from both our eyes.

"I always thought I had no place in this world because of what I did, but you showed me-" she says but I quickly cut her off

"Well maybe you were right" I say picking up my possessions and walking out of the room leaving Natalia frozen, I walk through the halls ignoring people as they attempted speaking to me. I take the elevator and leave the building entering my car and driving off.

I turn my music up whilst winding my windows down driving towards nowhere in particular. "Fuck her 'I don't recognise this person' BULLSHIT" I yell the wind in my hair, a car is no motorbike, but it will do for today. "I DON'T NEED HER!" I shout to absolutely no one as I head outside of town, driving down the back road going so far over the speed limit I don't even want to check the speedometer, but I don't care, because right now nothing matters.

If this had happened to six years ago y/n I don't think she would have been able to handle it, like her obsession with Natalia was honestly pathetic.

I'm not imprisoned by hydra or a fucking girlfriend, I have absolutely no responsibilities and not a worry in the world. I think I want cat.

I want a hook-up, no strings attached just plain simple sex, i wonder if Hill would be down, she seems like the kind of woman who's down for a no-nonsense liaison. No harm no foul, no feeling just sex. I'll ask Trev what he thinks when I get back, I wonder if he'll let me stay at the garage. Who am I kidding of course he will.

I stop my car when I realise where I am. I'm back home. Sitting on the curb across the road from the house, taking in every detail of the building doing anything to distract me from my reality. It's been rebuilt you'd never guess there'd been a fire, it looks exactly the same as the day we moved in. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel lost and guilty and just fucking angry because I still love Natalia, but I can't let myself get hurt again.

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Here's another short chapter, I've got nothing to say but I'll give you this time to process the shit that just went down, the next chapter might be a little shorter i don't have much time atm. Leave thoughts and stuff.

Wordcount: 692

Later, <3