Desolate - h.s. ✓

° forty-seven °

     The following night, I found myself alone in my house. Mum and Robin were busy at Gemma's, and Nicole was at her friend's. I didn't want to bother her, so I stopped texting her. Walking into the kitchen, I opened the fridge. Picking out a juice box, I opened it, putting the straw inside. Honestly, I didn't know what I was supposed to do with myself, and while Ethan was my friend, I couldn't look at him. It reminded me that he had hurt my girlfriend, and every time I saw him, I wanted to beat the absolute shit out of him for putting his hands on Nicole in any other way but love.

After I finished the juice box, I threw it out and went to the liquor cabinet. Grabbing one of the whiskey bottles, I headed upstairs to my room. I didn't know why I felt like shit, but it was probably just because my fucking psycho father was stalking my girlfriend. Putting on Tyler, the Creator, I sat down on the floor and drank.

I thought about a lot. About how my dad fucked me up. About how I hadn't played baseball in close to a month. About how I loved Nicole but was too much of a pussy to admit it to her face. It was as the whiskey burnt on the way down a fourth through the bottle that I took my shirt off. Scrolling through Instagram, I noticed all of the stupid fucking couples. All of the people posting about how they loved their significant other, while Nicole and I couldn't even say we were dating for the fear of my best friend blowing up at both of us.

After a little while, I took my jeans off and grabbed my favorite book in my room. The liquor still burned on the way down, but I ignored it, smiling at the pictures of Nicole and I from when we were kids. She must have found them in her garage, but I just continued looking at the pictures. There was one that I especially liked. It was from the night when she looked overly sexy at a party, but I had made her upset by being a dick. The picture was of us both smiling, but Nicole was drunk as fuck. She was cute all of the time, but I liked how much she wanted to touch me when she was wasted. It was kind of like how much I wanted to touch her when I was wasted.

I don't know when I hit the wall, but I went from being perfectly fine, to practically giggling by myself while looking at pictures of myself and Nicole. Drinking more, I didn't stop until I was about halfway, the burn becoming somewhat too much. Once I finished looking at the book, I grabbed my phone out of my jeans pocket. Without very much thought, I sent her a message.

busy???

Nicole: No 

Instantly, I was calling her. She answered not much later, leaving me to say the first thing that popped into my head.

"Has anyone told youuu that you're beautiful today?"

"Just you."

"Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"Daddy has had lots to driiink."

"Oh my god."

"What?"

"Don't call yourself that."

"Okayyyyyyy. But I wanna cuddle with youuu. "I'm at a friend's."

"Fuck me," I groaned. "No fair, I wanna see you right this second."

"Uh, we can come and pick you up?" she asked softly. "You can cuddle with me here."

"REALLY?!" I practically yelled.

"Shhhhh! You're so loud, but yes. Ella said she could drive."

"Yayyyy. I'll bring more alcohol. I'll see you sooon."

I wasn't certain how long it was until Nicole came to pick me up, but it felt long. She texted me she was here, and I found myself practically stumbling down the stairs. It took me a while to unlock the door, but I managed, opening the door. My girlfriend stood there, a small smile on her face before I wrapped my arms around her completely."