Desolate - h.s. ✓

° fifty-two ° *

     We went back to my house, Harry heading upstairs. I set our stuffed bears on the couch before going up the stairs, my boyfriend waiting in the bathroom. He had already grabbed a wet rag, but I managed to sit on the counter in front of him, Harry standing between my legs. We were both quiet as I dabbed his jaw, blood on his T-shirt. Frowning, I made sure his jaw looked okay, Harry touching my face briefly.

"You look really good tonight," he said softly, meaning the words fully. "You've changed a lot since we started dating."

"Changed how?"

"Um," he looked down, then back into my eyes quickly. "Well, I don't know. Five months, almost six, really does something for someone."

"Something how?"

"God, I don't know. You're just a lot sexier then you were at the beginning of the school year. I also feel like we've both grown up some. You know? Like, confiding in one another has helped us grow, and I feel like I can be more real with you."

My mind was all over the place with the words he had spoken. Part of me wondered if Harry was just rambling nervously, or if he was serious. Maybe it was a little bit of both. Taking a deep breath, I found myself playing with his hair, green eyes meeting mine as the words left my lips.

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

He looked confused; as if he didn't think he had heard me right. His brow was pulled in, and I could see all of the nerves in his body become obvious. Harry looked away briefly, my fingers still playing with his hair carefully.

"You mean that?" he asked. "You'd want me like that?"

"Of course I would," I nodded. "You took care of me this week. We've been dating several months. I want you in the realest way I can possibly have you."

"Nicole, I'm just scared," he admitted softly, looking into my eyes. "I'm scared of hurting you."

"We'll handle it," I assured, petting his cheek gently. "I want you, Harry. I want us to be together."

He swallowed hard, nodding. I wondered if he had been this nervous his first time, but I discarded the thought, smiling when he picked me up. We laughed as he carried me to my bedroom, Harry saying that he was glad I put the stuffed bears downstairs. My face flushed when he set me down, Harry shutting the door behind us. I took a deep breath, glancing down, and playing with my fingers.

"We can't both be nervous," he joked, my face flushed more. "I um ... damn, you really do look good tonight."

Smiling, Harry turned on a set of string lights, the room becoming slightly brighter. We kissed, and I pulled away, feeling the need to hug him instead. I wanted so badly to let him know I appreciated him, and I also wanted to cry because this moment meant so much more to me than anything else ever had.

"We don't have —"

"I'm okay," I nodded, playing with the material of his shirt. "You first."

He did the thing where he grabbed the neck of his shirt, hauling it over his head easily. It was extremely sexy, my fingers playing with his cross necklace. Pressing my lips to the silver, Harry chuckled, saying he wanted to take the necklace off. Before he could, I stopped him, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you normally take it off?"

"Yeah," he nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Do you want me to keep it on?"

"A little bit."

Harry nodded, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I felt flustered when he grabbed my top, pulling it off of me easily. We kissed then, Harry undoing my jeans slowly. He didn't break the kiss as he pushed the denim down my legs, leaving me in just a bra and underwear while he managed to get down to just his boxers. He grabbed his wallet from the jeans though, placing it on the side table quickly before picking me up and lying me on the bed.