Unknown Black Heir

The Book

Although we're going back to school tomorrow, nothing feels the same. My entire life flipped upside down again. I sneak off to my room while everyone's enjoying watching the guys do some tricks on their brooms. I haven't gotten a single moment alone since all of this happened, and apparently I really want one.

My room is quite. I can hear the faint echo of all of them laughing and cheering outside, but other than that, I'm alone.

I reach under my bed and pull out the black book filled with all of my father's letters. It feels weird to read them now but at the same time, it's all I can think about. Who else was important enough to get a letter? Who else did he have to say goodbye to? 

I flip open to where I left off and run my hand over the page. What if I don't like what I read from here on? Before I knew he was alive and my father, I was just trying to learn more about my family. I never thought I'd get a chance to meet him. Now it seems a little risky. 

I take a deep breathe, then I flip the page. 

At the top of the page, it says Sirius' name. 

This one is going to be intense. The two of them have so much between them and this letter will be really hard to read. 

I could skip it... 

But I kind of want to know. 

I take a deep breathe and look back down at the book. Here goes nothing. 

Sirius, 
I don't really know where to start this. If I'm being honest, there's a lot I want to say.. A lot I need to say actually. I wish I could've said these things to you when we were close, but better late than never I suppose. 

I'm sorry that I didn't leave with you that night. I didn't want to disappoint our parents. I didn't want to leave our father. I couldn't. I've never been as strong or independent as you are, Sirius. I wish I was but the truth is, I'm not. I've always admired those things about you. 

I wanted to say thank you for everything you've done for me. I'm sorry we couldn't have left together. Looking back on it now, it's my biggest regret. I wish I left with you. I wouldn't be in this mess if I did.

You were a great brother. Probably the best brother I could've asked for. You did so much for me and I can never repay you for any of it, but I can choose to do the right thing to try and make things up to you. I hope that what I'm about to do will make up for all of it. 

I'm sorry that I have to do this. I know I'm most likely not going to make it... but I thought this would be the best goodbye. Especially since we aren't talking right now. 

I'm sorry for not leaving with you that night and letting you down.. but I'm going to make up for it now, Sirius. 

Love your brother, 

Regulus. 

I close the book and take another deep breathe, wiping the tears away. I didn't even know that I had started crying until I wiped my eyes. 

I have to keep reading the book but I- every time I do, it always hurts. The way he writes about how feels about each of them. It's all so deep and sad. He's so full of regrets and heartbreak. I feel so bad for him. 

I open the book back up and turn to the next page.

The name on the top of the page shocks me. I wasn't even aware that they were friends, let alone important enough to get a letter. 

James. 

James Potter? The same guy who is Harry's father? That James?

James, 
Where do I even begin to start? This one will probably be the hardest letter to write to anyone. I know that you saw so much potential in me. You saw me as someone who is smart and strong, someone who could be good. I liked the way you see me. I like the way I thought of myself because of how you thought of me. 

You're probably the best thing that's ever happened to me, James. You're my happiness. My light in the intense darkness. You knew that already though. You know exactly how I feel about you. 

I can't thank you enough for believing in me. For seeing the good in me. You're the only reason I think I can handle this. You're the only reason I think I can change and be good. Be better. 

I want to be the same person you see when you look at me. I can never thank you enough for the hope you've given me. 

Whatever I do next, it's for you. You saw me for who I am, for who I want to be and I can never thank you enough. I can never repay you for any of it... so this is for you. 

I want to be good for you. 

Love yours, 

Regulus. 

I take another deep breathe and sigh. James? My father had a thing with James? James- as in Harry's father. 

I have to ask him about this. Can I even ask him about this? How do you ask someone you barely even know if he had a thing with your friends dad? 

He's my father but I can't even ask him because I barely know him. 

Not that it would make a difference whether he did or didn't have a thing with James. I didn't know what to think because I thought him and my mother were soulmates? From the stories, I assumed they were always in love. 

My bedroom door opens after a couple of soft knocks and I glance up at the door. Regulus was standing there, looking at me with wide eyes when he notices the book in my lap. 

He comes in the room and sits down in front of me. He sighs and looks down at the book again. 

"I suppose we should talk about what you've read because I'm assuming you have lots of questions," he says to me. 

"I have some, yeah." I reply to him.