Purposefully Coincidental ✓

71. Numb

Josephine

There's a pep in my step as the last thirty minutes of my shift near. Leo texted me a few minutes ago, telling me he's on his way to my place.

During my shift, I kept thinking about what we're going to do when we see each other.

Eat. Have sex. Power nap. More sex. Then maybe watch a movie.

It doesn't have to be in that particular order, but I know I want a lot of lovemaking.

I've missed his hands and lips on me. Him in me.

As I round the corner, I come face to face with Nicole.

I've never seen her here before, so I walk to her to say hi and ask what she's doing here.

My footsteps slow down as I see the look on her face. Her eyes are red around the rim and her lips are pursed. If I know one thing is that Nicole is a strong badass and she doesn't cry that easily.

My mind jumps to Leo immediately, and I start jogging to her. Is he hurt? Was he in an accident?

"Nicole." I breathe. "Are you okay? Is Leo alright?"

"Josie," she swallows. "Can we talk in private?"

She steers me to an empty room and delivers the most excruciating news I've ever heard.

•••

I yank at my hair, wanting to claw my brains out. To stop all thoughts running through my mind.

I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to feel anymore.

I hate him. I hate myself. I hate the world. I hate my brother for making him avoid me this past week. I hate the universe for taking him from me.

One week I haven't seen him and I don't know when I'll see him again. We could have had all this time together. It could be our last time together.

But Roman had to talk nonsense, play with his head and make him pull back.

I feel a burn in my palms. My fingernails punctured my skin, from fisting my hair in my hands too hard.

I yank even harder. The physical pain is better than the pain in my heart.

But it doesn't help. It doesn't stop my mind from... from...

Leo...

He's gone.

He left me.

I want these thoughts gone. I want to stop feeling anything. I want to feel numb.

I scream, the cold water of the shower stinging my body.

My throat burns from how hard and loud I'm screaming. I feel my vocal cords straining and burning. But I don't stop screaming.

He's gone...

The door bangs on the wall from the force of it being pushed open. In my peripheral sight, I see Ananya and Candice running to me. Candice shuts the water while Anya sinks to the floor beside me and hugs me tightly.

I don't recall how I found Anya in the hospital and told her I need to be anywhere but there. I vaguely remember her calling Candice on the way to my apartment and telling her I need her. But what I need is for Leo to be here. Hugging me and telling me it's going to be okay.

I try to scream again but my throat wouldn't let me. All I've had in me is gone.

"Shh. It's going to be okay."

I hold the material of her scrubs and bury my face in her chest and just let the tears down.

I feel like I'm choking. Like I'm drowning. But Leo isn't here to help me reach the shore.

Anya's soft voice does nothing to make the ache go away.

She's soaked from my wet clothes but she doesn't care, she holds me close to her, rubbing my hair.

I feel Candice sinking on the floor next to me as well and I'm engulfed in a tight hug by my two best friends. But the ache in my heart doesn't dissolve.

Their murmurs help slow my heartbeats a little. But that doesn't ease the pain. It doesn't make it go away. It doesn't make Leo be here. Next to me.

• ••• •

A/N:

Poor Josie :(