blood and dreams

Henry's Blades

"NO!" Henry shouted as he bolted awake and jumped to a sitting position. He gasped for breath. Henry had been having nightmares ever since he first started fighting crime. This one in particular was worse than usual, though. He had dreamt that his two best friends, Charlotte and Jasper, were being killed by Drex and he couldn't do anything to stop it. It had made him feel like a failure. Henry was still struggling to calm down from this dream, it seemed so realistic. He never told anyone about his nightmares because he was embarrassed. He could never let Jasper know, or even worse, his boss, Ray. Henry wanted to seem like he could handle his double life perfectly. Little did he know Jasper had just found out about his nightmares right then. 

As Henry hyperventilated and his heart beat out of his chest, Jasper was listening to the entire ordeal. Henry and Jasper had fallen asleep the previous night on the phone together. Neither ended up hanging up and so Jasper woke up at the screaming and proceeded to listen to Henry's struggling to calm down. He wasn't sure if he should say anything, but he also knew he couldn't just hang up. It was 3 am and his best friend  was upset. 

 Meanwhile Henry was still panicking, tears flowing from his eyes now. He was so scared of either of his friends ever dying, especially Jasper. He loved both of them, but he felt a special connection to Jasper that he couldn't explain. Henry was shaking. He just couldn't calm down. He grabbed his blade that he hid in the drawer of his nightstand as more tears came. He pulled up his sleeve and touched the blade to his skin with his still shaky hand. Using the corner, he swiped horizontally across his wrist and watched the blood flow from his new wound. Tears dripped from his eyes onto his arm and mixed with the bright red blood. The sight of the bleeding cut soothed him. He didn't care that he was getting blood on his clothes or bed sheets, and he cared even less that he was harming himself. The tears were flowing slower now. Henry always knew that if anything ever happened to the people he loved, it would be his fault. He took this dangerous job, and by doing that he put Jasper at risk. I deserve this, Henry thought as he swiped across his wrist again, this time deeper than before. As he went to make a third cut, he heard knocking from his window. Henry jumped and dropped his blade onto the mattress. Jasper opened Henry's window and climbed inside. His jaw dropped when he looked at the state of Henry. Jasper ran over to him. Henry had more tears in his eyes and after a couple seconds of awkwardness, threw himself at Jasper and cried onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around Jasper, probably getting blood and tears all over him, but it was too late to care about that.  

"Henry," Jasper said. 

"Y-yeah?" Henry said, shaking and still clinging to Jasper. 

"You can't do this to yourself, you don't deserve this." 

Henry wanted to believe him, but he didn't. Jasper hugged Henry tighter and had no intention of letting go until Henry was ready. 

"Y-yes I do, Jasper. I put you in danger all the time all because of my stupid job. If anything happened to you I don't know what I would do. I love you" 

"I love you too Henry," Jasper said, running his hand up and down Henry's back. A tear fell from Jasper's eye as Henry sobbed into his arms. 

Jasper continued, "but you hurting yourself like this, it won't keep me from being hurt, it'll just hurt us all more. I'm gonna help you now, ok?" 

"....Okay..", Henry whispered, not wanting to move away from Jasper but needing to do something about his now stinging  cuts. He didn't want the pain in his arm to end, but he definitely wanted the guilt of putting Jasper at risk to. 

Jasper gently moved Henry off of him and went to get the first aid kit. He came back to find Henry no longer hyperventilating, but breathing slowly and calmly. He was still crying, but much less hysterically. He was turning his blade over and over in his right hand. Jasper sat down next to him. 

"Henry?" Jasper asked. 

"Yea?", Henry replied.  

"Can I see that?" 

"Um. Sure..." Henry reluctantly handed his blade over to Jasper. Jasper looked at the tool, despising it for causing so much harm to the boy he loved so dearly. 

"Henry, do you have any other blades in here?" 

"Well... I might have another in that drawer." Henry answered, gesturing to his nightstand again. Jasper walked over and opened it. Sure enough, there it was. Jasper pocketed both blades. 

"Wait, you can't take those.. please.." Henry said. 

"Henry, you can't... I promise you won't need to anymore, I'll always be here for you. Always." 

Henry understood, but he still couldn't imagine his life without his blades. Couldn't imagine a world where he couldn't solve his problems by damaging himself.

Jasper sat down next to Henry. 

"Can I see your wrist please?" Jasper asked, scared of what he was about to see. Henry  hesitated for a second, then slowly held his arm out for Jasper to see. Jasper gently took it and started to clean off the wounds. He put some bandaids over the cuts and rolled Henry's sleeve back down. Henry had never felt so cared for, or loved. He started to cry quietly again.  

"It's okay, I'm here." Jasper said. "What were you doing up right now anyways?..." 

"I- I had a nightmare..." Henry admitted, embarrassed. 

"About what?" Jasper asked, now holding Henry close to him again. 

"I almost lost you" Henry replied quietly. 

"I'm never gonna leave you" Jasper said, holding Henry a little tighter after this confession. 

"Hey Jasp? One more thing?" 

"Anything." Jasper replied 

"Can you stay here tonight? Please?" 

"Of course I can, Hen" 

"I really love you Jasp" 

"And I really love you, Hen"  

Henry fell asleep in the warmth of Jasper's arms, and soon after Jasper drifted off as well. Henry felt comfort knowing he didn't have to hide anymore, and he didn't have to hurt either.