blood and dreams

I'm Sorry Ray

Ray woke up first the next morning. He was still in the same position he fell asleep in, with his arms around Henry. Ray layed there silently. He didn't want to wake the other boy up. He wanted to protect Henry from his own thoughts as long as he could.
After a while though, Henry slowly started to wake up anyway. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. After a few seconds of looking around, Henry realized he was in Ray's bedroom. Then he glanced over and saw that Ray was there next to him. He slowly put the peices together.
I was hurt..... I called Ray.. oh God I called Ray?? Ray knows????? Am I okay??? Henry thought while trying not to panic.
He looked down at his arms, still not having moved from where he woke up despite both guys being awake now. Henry saw that his arm was bandaged.
Did Ray do this himself? 
Henry couldn't believe his secret was out, basically to everyone now.
"Hey Ray." Henry said, trying to sound nonchalant despite the circumstances.
"Hey buddy" Ray replied gently, slowly sitting up on the mattress. Henry sat up too and leaned his head against Ray's shoulder sadly. Ray put an arm around him and played with Henry's hair a little. This made Henry almost cry.
"I don't know Ray..." Henry said quietly. "I just don't know anymore."
"Know what?" Ray asked
"If I can do this." Henry said.
Ray knew what he meant. He held Henry closer.
"I'm sorry Ray" Henry whispered.
Ray felt defeated. He couldnt lose Henry. And he couldn't let Henry feel this way.
"Please don't be." Ray said, letting a tear roll down his face before quickly wiping it off. He had to be strong for Henry. 
Ray went on, "It's not your fault... I've never told anyone this, but I know how it feels Henry. I understand. You didn't choose this."
Henry started to feel like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. This meant so much more to him than what Jasper or Charlotte said. He loved them, and he knew they meant well, but promises to stop cutting only made him feel guilty. Ray made him feel like he wasn't alone.
"We're gonna get through this Henry. Now, does anybody else know about this?" Ray asked
"Jasper and Charlotte both know. But only since a couple days ago."
"Did they take it well?" Ray asked cautiously, stroking Henry's back.
"Jasper found out first... He took it as well as he could. It really helped me in the moment, but then he had me tell Charlotte. Charlotte also was supportive, but together they both obviously wanted me to stop and I felt so much pressure. I ended up feeling so guilty which.... which is why what happened last night happened. It wasn't their faults, it was mine."
"Henry, one thing I can promise you.. Is that this is not your fault. Please believe me when I say that. I've never been more serious about anything" Ray said.
"But I just," Henry whispered as he held back tears, "I just feel like I'm a burden to them now."
Ray ran his hands through Henry's hair, which he knew always calmed Henry.
"You're not a burden to anyone. We love you Henry. They're just a little worried, but they'd be worried no matter what. They're your best friends. If you want I can talk to them and tell them that I'll make sure you're safe whenever they're worried."
"That... that would actually help me a lot Ray. Thank you." Henry said, a weak smile growing on his face.
"Of course Hen. I love you buddy."
"I love you too."
"Now, how about your family?" Ray asked.
Henry winced.
"None of them know. Not even Piper. My parents would freak out and think I'm insane, or worshipping the devil or something. They'd definitely send me to a mental hospital. And Piper, she'd be so scared Ray. I can't do that to her." 
"I promise you I won't tell them." Ray said, holding out his pinky for Henry to shake. Henry shook it with his own, smiling. He tried to lift his head off Rays shoulder and hug him instead, but it ended with Henry getting a sharp pain in his arm.
"Ray it hurts" Henry said quickly.
Ray positioned Henry back to learning on his shoulder and gave him a light squeeze.
"I'm sorry Hen, it should heal soon enough."
"One can hope." Henry said, smiling lightly again, finding comfort in Ray's softly lit room.
Henry's phone rang from the bedside table. He saw that it was Piper and rolled his eyes.
"It's my little sister" Henry said to Ray.
"Should I go?" Ray asked.
"No, no, stay." Henry said while clicking the 'accept call' button. He heard yelling in the background as soon as the call started. Then Pipers voice.
"Henry, you need to get over here, now. like now! it's bad."