Henry woke up really late the next morning. It was almost noon when he finally opened his eyes. He turned his head to see Ray sitting next to him, wide awake. He looked at the clock. 11:56.
Why hasn't Ray gotten up y-
It all came flooding back to him. Henry shot upright and then clutched his side in pain. He winced.
"Ray I-" Henry started
"Henry," Ray interrupted. He looked at Henry sadly. Henry noticed he had bags under his eyes.
"I'm sorry" Henry and Ray said in unison, followed by both of their expressions turning from distraught to confused.
"Why are you sorry?" Henry asked. For the most part they understood each other, but right now all Henry could think about his how much he burdened Ray with his constant breakdowns.
"Cause last night was my fault. I posted something that put you at risk, and look what happened. I'm the reason people are saying the things they're saying."
"What?- Ray, no. None of this is your fault at all. I told you you could post it! It's not like you did it behind my back! And I chose to do this. Every time I... hurt myself.... it's MY choice. Not yours. I knew you would have stopped me. That's why I hid it from you Ray. Thats why I'm sorry. I went behind your back to do something I KNEW would hurt you. And after everything you've done for me! I could've gone to you! I could have done anything else, but I had to do the thing I knew would make you feel the worst, and it wasn't to get back at you, but I know it hurt you Ray. I don't think you did anything wrong, and I don't want you to blame yourself. I just want to say I'm sorry." Henry leaned back against the headboard after finishing his speech. Ray shook his head.
"It's not your fault either. I know it seems like you chose this, but you didn't. It's an addiction, Henry. And you don't have to worry about hurting me. I'm not mad you tried to hide it from me Hen. You know I wanna be there for you always, but that doesn't mean I blame you when I can't be. I get it. It's hard. You have people online telling you to hurt yourself, and I'm only one person. Of course I want to stop you every time. But relapses happen. In any addiction. It's not your fault."
Henry hung his head to think about what Ray just said.
Addiction. Relapse.
These words made him feel like he was doing the equivalent of hard drugs somehow.
Am I addicted? Is it really that serious?
But of course it's that serious. Drugs hurt your body and mind. This hurts his body and mind. And he couldn't stop.
Oh my god. He's right. I'm addicted.
"Henry?" Ray said, getting Henry to zone back in.
"It's just that I never thought of it that way. Thought of it....like an addiction. It's scary." Henry admitted. Ray moved closer and was careful not to hurt Henry. Henry leaned against Ray.
"Your don't have to worry about anything Hen. I'm here. Whatever it is, I'm gonna be here to take care of it."
"I just wish I didn't put you through so much, Ray. You can act like it doesn't, but I know it scares you to find me passed out on the floor in the middle of the night. To find me sobbing or bleeding out or having panic attacks. And it's unfair to you. You do a lot for me. And I'm constantly making you do more."
"Henry you dont make me do anything. Of course it's scary, but I want to be here for you. I chose to care about you and to take care of you and I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I wouldn't change that. You matter a lot to me, and if anyone's gonna be here when you're down it's gonna be me. You're just doing all the things that anyone who's been through what you have would do. Please just know I'm gonna be here no matter what."
"You're a really good friend Ray" Henry said
"You are too kid." Ray said, twirling Henry's hair around his finger. Henry felt comforted, finally.
"Did you sleep at all last night?" Henry asked, looking concerned.
"Yeah I got like, a full 20 minutes." Ray said, smiling. Henry rested his head on Ray's shoulder.
"You should rest." Henry said, feeling guilty for keeping him up. Ray rested his head on Henry's, and Henry stayed there the entire time Ray slept. He didn't wake up until 4 pm, when they both realized the day was almost over and they hadn't done anything.
"We should do something" Henry said, once Ray sat up.
"You need to rest, your injuries are serious."
"I've literally been resting for the past like 14 hours straight" Henry argued
"Rest more" Ray said, laughing. They compromised on going into the main room of the man cave and letting Henry rest on the U couch while Ray did other stuff.
Henry was slouching on the couch, texting his group chat with Jasper and Charlotte.
Jasper: Is it cool if we stop by the man cave soon Hen?
Henry: nah fam ngl relapsed pretty bad last night n Ray's going all dad mode and making me rest like I have the flu
Charlotte: Are you okay??
Jasper: aw that's actually really sweet of him
Jasper: also yeah are you okay man
Henry: lol no
Charlotte: what do you MEAN no?
Henry: just like. I've been better. I'm not dead or anything
Jasper: good cause I totally thought you were texting us from ur grave rn
Charlotte: This is not a time to be sarcastic Jasper
Henry: LMFAOOAOAOAOAOAOOA got me there
Charlotte: you guys have to be kidding me
Henry: chill out
Charlotte: how bad is it
Henry: just like. ugh I can't describe it?? what is this, 20 questions?
Charlotte: well SORRY for being CONCERNED
Henry: I'm doing fine dw
Jasper: tbh not buying it
Henry: ok fine I am in immense pain
Henry: are u guys happy now
Charlotte: of course not
Henry: bro
Henry tried to contain his slight laughter. Texting his two best friends at least took his mind off the guilt he was feeling. Recognizing this only brought it back though, of course. He turned to see Ray sitting at the monitors.
"Raayyyyyyyyyy" Henry yelled.
"What's up." Ray said back.
"I'm lonely"
"Im literally right here" Ray said, smiling.
"you're too far away so I'm basically alone"
"First of all, it's there's only like a 7 foot gap between us. Second of all, that's not even how that works."
"whatever, just c'mere" Henry said tiredly. Ray walked over and sat next to Henry. Henry's eyelids were drooping. He layed down across Ray's lap and started to fall asleep. Ray remembered how he woke up at noon and wondered briefly how it was even possible he was tired, then remembered how late he went to sleep. The blood loss probably didn't help either. Ray sat there while Henry slept, thinking about how messed up both their sleep schedules were now.
YOU ARE READING
blood and dreams
Short Storyhenry wakes up from a nightmare, not realizing jasper is still on the phone with him from the night before (MAJOR TW FOR SELF HARM DO NOT READ IF YOU'LL BE TRIGGERED BY THIS). Charlotte is in this story starting chapter 2, and ray is gonna be involv...
