Call it what you want

Broken

No one said something for a while and they just kept laying next to each other. Taylor covered her body up with a blanket and Joe lay on the side and fixed his hair with his hand. She turned her head over for a short moment and her eyes met his but right in this moment she immediately turned her head back down and covered her face with her hand.

"Are you alright?" He asked with a smile.

"No this is so awkward." She said. He couldn't deny that. It really was a weird atmosphere.

"It totally is." He laughed while trying to act normal.

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

"For what?"

"For insisting this again. I think one time was far enough." She didn't look at him one time while talking.

"Really?"

"You don't think that?" She asked.

"I mean I enjoyed it. Didn't you like it too?" He said while he knew exactly how much she liked it.

"I did but that is the problem. I don't want to enjoy it. There is no way that I can imagine us living a life together. Then way you treated me tonight made me want more of it but I know that I can't have more." She finally turned her head to the side and her eyes looked right into his.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't love you, Joe and I will never. For me this was just about the sex." She said again and while the words left her lips, his hear broke. This came so unexpected for him that he wasn't able to say something for the next minute.

"We could just keep it like this? Sex without feelings." She suggested and he couldn't really believe what she was saying. All the time he thought that she was feeling the same and that finally the time come where they would confess their feelings. He wasn't able to hate her anymore but he felt like she still hated him.

"No we can't, Taylor." Joe said and he was getting a bit angry at her.

"Why?"

"Because I have feelings for you. I can't keep having sex with you if I will never be able to have you in a romantic way. I want us to talk, to kiss, to cuddle and to hang out together. Not just sex." He confessed and she looked at him in disbelief.

"Are you serious?" She said with a confused face.

"Yes I am, I'm totally serious and I thought that you would feel the same." He said still being heartbroken.

"I thought you hated me."

"I also thought that and I did in the beginning but I met another woman. Her name is Amelia and I thought I fell in love with her so I kissed her. We had a good time and we almost had sex but when I was laying in bed with her it was you who kept crossing my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about you and kept wishing it was you."

"Wait stop." She broke his sentence.

"What?"

"I don't want to hear about that. I don't feel the same that is what is important. We will never have a romantic relationship."

"Do you even know how this feels for me right now?" He said. This was the mean side of her again. The side that he used to hate.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry but I can't share your feelings. I loved having sex with you and I would be available to you for that all the time. But just for sex not for more." She said.

"Why did you let me kiss you then?" He asked again while he still was sure that she was laying.

"You just kissed me."

"Stop pretending that you didn't want it. You even kissed me back. You enjoyed it and you wanted it." He said with a louder voice.

"Yes I let you kiss me but that doesn't mean that I'm in love with you. Accept the fact that you are not more than someone to fuck in the night." She hissed at him and now both of them were angry. She went out of the bed and picked up her clothes. While she collected them from the floor Joe followed her with his eyes and scanned her naked body. He wanted her to be his but not just for sex.

As she has dressed herself up, Joe got up too and put on some clothes. He wanted to leave the room after what she said to him. He couldn't believe that he was in love with a woman like this but still he knew that his heart was burning for her.

"I will never fuck you again, Taylor." He said in quiet voice before leaving the room.

He went outside and stumbled across some people but he was so in anger that he wasn't really able to recognize them. He wanted to go to the backside of the house where he always went when he wanted to be alone. He walked around the corner and found Amelia sitting on the couch. She looked totally down and sad. Joe knew exactly that this was his fault and he hated that. He liked her, he still did but he didn't love her. He didn't know what to do for a moment and thought about leaving but then she raised her head and looked at him. Her face was completely dark and stayed that way when she saw him. He sighed and cane near her.

"Are you alright?" He said and regretted it in the moment he said it. Of course she was not alright and that was because of him.

"Did you seriously just ask me that?" She shook her head. She wasn't shouting at all, rather speaking quiet.

"I'm sorry, Amelia. I really am. I didn't expect what happened either." He tried to explain himself.

"What happened? You didn't say anything, you just left." She said and her voice was about to break.

"I just realized that my feelings weren't what I thought they were. I love Taylor and I didn't know that before. I'm really sorry that this happened because I really like you." He said and as he reached out his hand for her she moved away.

"You like me but you don't love me?"

"No I don't." He sighed.

"I really was falling in love with you Joe. I thought you were the right person for me in here." She said and he knew she was about to cry.

"Please don't cry. I don't deserve your tears because I'm not the right person for you. I'm sure you will find someone who will treat you the way you deserve it but I can't be this person."

"At least you have someone who you really love now and she even is your wife." Amelia tried to fake a smile but Joe knew that it wasn't true. He also knew that Taylor didn't love him back and that hurt again every time that he thought about it.