AAHARA

INCOMPLETE WISH.

Dada's expression didn't change but the fact that he at least said something to me unlike Dad, was way more than I expected for, and it felt good. His words felt genuine and that melted my heart, just a tiny bit.

I turned to look at Naana, he was still present, and that gave me a lot of relief. He gave me a encouraging smile, telling me to continue with his eyes. Though I kept looking at him, I kind of felt like if I stopped or turned away, he would be gone by the time I turned around again. Something that I most definitely didn't want.

When Naana nodded at me. I sighed, I had to keep going. So, I decided to suppress the negative thoughts, then I smiled at Dada and went to my second oldest brother, Aadinew Singh. I always found his name really interesting. Like really and the same went for all my other brothers as well, their names were all really cool. Like Dada's name was Aanan Singh. When he saw me he didn't smile at first but the same thing happened as what happened, when I went to touch Dada's feet.

He stopped me and offered me a tight lipped smile, almost like it was forced. Which I think, it most definitely was. Yet I still appreciated his effort. So, I gave him a smile in return. He had a slightly lighter skin tone than the rest of my brothers. It was almost like mine. I was kinda glad that I am not the only one with Mumma's skin tone in this house.

He was about 6'3 in height, as well, and was 25 years old. Yet something was different about him. I couldn't put my finger on it yet but something was definitely strange. I really wanted to ask him a few things but I decided against it. Aadinew Bhaiya, as I knew handled a lot of World's leading Primary and High Schools.

~We call our older brother as Bhaiya in hindi.

I remember watching one of his interviews in which he talked about the importance of education and how he wanted to do something in that field. He was also one of the top students of his University. He was really smart and I liked that about him a lot.

I moved aside and went to meet my next brother who was sitting on the couch, looking beyond annoyed. He looked completely different form the others as I could see what looked like eyeliner on his eyes. But by NO means that made him look bad or weird, infact I felt as if it only enhanced his looks. He was also wearing a lot of rings on his figures. All of his fingers. I had hardly seen Ekansh Bhaiya, in magazines or on any other social media, also I had most definitely never seen him in make up before. So, it took me by surprise. He had nothing except that eyeliner on but I didn't feel like he needed anything else anyways.

The look on his face said everything. It was as if he didn't even want me here. He looked annoyed, like I said but there was something else in his eyes as well. Their colour. His eyes were red, like they had been deprived of any sleep, for many nights. Had we been in any other situation and had he not looked so annoyed I would have most definitely asked him about what's wrong but then I strongly felt that it would only end up in a bad way.

Then my institutions were proven right.

"No need." He exclaimed in a really harsh voice, the movement I was about to touch his feet. It was as if I would have burned him with my touch. I flinched but he didn't even bother to look at me. He was looking up staring at the ceiling as if he was praying for all this to be done.

I flinched so bad that I ended up sitting or more likely falling on the floor. My hands on the carpet below me.

Naana quickly came to help me. While he glared at Bhaiya.

"Be nice Ekansh. Don't forget I am still here." Naana calmly stated. Too calmly. Ekansh Bhaiya wasn't fazed but he knew better than to cross his Naana, so just mumbled something incoherent. Nobody else bothered to say anything else. Naana helped me up and I somehow stopped my tears form spilling.

I won't cry.

I won't cry.

I kept chanting that to myself. The little confidence that I had managed to collect, it all got shattered. I held onto Naana's hand tightly, even when he tried to pull away, I didn't let go. He looked down and gave me a encouraging smile with a caresse form his free hand.

"Go ahead baby. Ignore him." He told me slowly as if talking to a two year old. Naana did this when he tried to make me do something I was backing out form or something that I was scared of. Somehow he always knew what was up with me. Even when I didn't know it myself.

Just like now. I couldn't decide if I was scared or not. On one hand, I wanted to meet all of them. Yet when I did, it felt like I was not wanted in the house. Like Dad, Dada and even Aadinew Bhaiya tried but it's not like I didn't catch up on their cold behaviour. Like how none of them hugged me. I would have done that myself had they not given such scary and intimidating vibes.

On the other hand, I saw something in all of their eyes. Whether I wanted admit it or not but there was something that was drawing me to them. Something that scared me but at the same time gave me a sort of reassurance that I usually got from Naana and Naani. It was really confusing. God I am such an idiot.

It was too much for my brain to process, in such a short time. They were giving me mixed signals and I didn't like it one bit. So, I decided something. I looked at Naana, pleading with him with my eyes.

"Naana I wanna go home. Please." I whispered. I am sure no one would have heard it if the whole room hadn't been so quiet. You could actually here a pin drop. So, everybody heard. Yet no one said anything.

"Baby this is your home." Naana looked a little surprised at my request but covered it well.

"No Naana it isn't. Please I promise I won't trouble you. Let's just leave. Please." I seriously didn't want to stay here. The more I thought about it the more confusing and difficult everything got.

"Baby this is your family. Didn't you eat my ears out because you wanted to go out on a dinner with them? Now what happened?" Naana wasn't listening to me. He didn't wanna to listen. I knew that much. I knew he would win the battle somehow yet I didn't want to just give up, but then he hit the bull's eye. Like he always does. Sigh.

"Didn't you wanna meet Aahar? You wrote him so many letters. The most out of all." Naana said while still caressing my cheek. Aahar. My twin.

He was 15 minutes older than me, from what Naani told me. I had seen him on social media. I even sent him a friend request from a fake account but he rejected it. After that I stopped stalking him on social media. My ego is too big. Huff.

We were fraternal twins. We didn't look alike. Not even a bit. While I was like a small and average looking dumbo. He was like the badass jock you see in school. Tall, muscular and extremely handsome. He had grey eyes like mine with a face with really good features.

What his personality was like? I had no idea and that saddened me the most. Who in the world doesn't know about their own twin? Well me I guess. Like seriously the one, who you shared your Mom's womb with. Naana said that when I was born Dad gave me to him and Naani to take care of me but he kept Aahar. Why? I had no idea about the as well, as always.

In the beginning I was jealous of him. A lot. Yet as time went by and Naani taught me values and stuff, she made me realise that I shouldn't hate someone when I don't know the truth. Also it was not like he decided that he wanted to stay with Dad and had me sent away. He was himself a baby. Although in the beginning, I thought it was really unfair but when I started to enjoy my life with my grandparents, it made little difference. Yet with time I gradually developed a wish to get to know him. To talk to him. Fight with him. To become his friend if not a sibling. Yet of course the wish always remained incomplete. Maybe I can fulfill it now?!