ColexKai = Lava = Perfect♥️

Can you Feel my Heart?

This story takes part after Posession and before Skybound so inbetween season 5 and 6). The HC this is based of, is that as a ghost Cole tried to selfharm, just to feel anything. Of course he couldn't, but that didn't worry his friends less. Sorta Lava (Hurt/Comfort), that's why it landed here.

Sadness/Mention of Suicide/Attempt of Selfharm

Read at own risk!

And Have Fun of course, I hope you like it :)

_______________________________________
Season: Winter
Age of Ninja: 16/17
Place: Monastery
_______________________________________

With a shaky hand Cole clamped the razor between his fingers, scared that any try of holding it a little bit softer will end up in him letting it fall through his trembling hand and bounce to the floor which will end up in getting the others attention.

Even the bare thought of it made him turn around and check the door behind him, if it's still closed, check the hallway for any sounds.

He sighed.

It's not like he was doing any forbidden stuff in here.

But it also wasn't like he was doing something his friends would accept him doing.

He just had to.

The urge was there since the beginning but with the whole Morro-Thing going on, there just wasn't the time.

There was no time to grief or to be angry or sad.

He had to be the strong one.

For the others.

Mostly for himself.

And now look at him.

What he got himself into.

Into seeing that there not just wasn't time for this emotions, there simply were none.

No emotions.

No pain.

Nothing.

Cold and empty.

In endless nothingness.

Only dark shadows in it, stretching their arms out to reach him, and drag him deeper into this.

He looked down at himself, the ghostly green shimmer that is now his body.

Cold und empty.

Nothing.

He raised the razor, now fixing his eyes on the sharp side of it.

And leading it down onto his arm.

He focused so that he would materialize, if only for a second.

But the razor went right trough his left arm.

Again, he told himself.

Nothing happened.

Again.

Again.

Again.

This time, the blade touched his arm, Cole let out a grunt of satisfaction.

He was still in control.

He can still decide over his body, the pain and injury.

He did not even care about being soft.

With as much strength as a human being (or you know a ghost) could muster when it knows it's own skin will be the victim he pressed the little sharp blades on his skin and dragged it from his wrist all the way up, stopping before his ellbow.