LIVING & GRIEVING

preface.

When I lost my mum, I felt like everything around me stopped. But something you learn in grief is that the world goes on. It doesn't feel like it. But everyone carries on living. You do too. Your assignments still need handed in. Your dog's still need walked once a day. Your friends will move onto university. Your job will need you back at work. You will fall in love for the first time. And you will feel guilt. You will feel like you are never meant to go outside again, never meant to laugh or finish high school. But you are. You will miss that person every day. But you are still living.

For me, my life is categorised. Things that happened before my mum died and things that happened after she died. After mum, I passed my driving test. I went to university. I went to a club for the first time. Some of my greatest moments in life have been after my mum died. They will never be the way they were supposed to, but I still feel lucky to have had them. Chapters in Ivy's life will be categorised the same way. The present time will start with the funeral and everything that happens after. But you will also see parts of her life before: the happy family memories and the ones that cancer ruined. 

Ivy will get a happy ending. She will face an enormous amount of grief. She will cry. She will miss her mother. She will crave the family feeling she used to have. She will feel guilty when she starts to enjoy herself again. But she will get her happy ending. So yes, this is a sad book about illness and depression and grieving. But it is also a silly little love story where the girl falls in love with the boy. Because there is no reason it can't be both.