LIVING & GRIEVING

27. girlfriends

When we woke up, I smiled to myself as I realised despite being drunk, Quinn had kept to his word and stayed on his side of the bed. I quietly got up, making sure not to wake him and made my way downstairs. I filled up three glasses of water, leaving one beside Ronan, who was still snoring on the living room sofa, and carrying the other two upstairs.

Quinn's eyes started to open as I return, he let out a groan and pulled the covers over his eyes, clearly not ready to face the day. I placed one glass down on his bedside table and walked back around to my side, sitting down with my legs crossed.

"Come back to bed," he groaned again.

"I am back in bed."

"No, properly," he turned onto his other side, facing me, "get back in. It's too early to be up."

"Its 10 o'clock, Quinn."

"So? My parents won't be back for another couple of hours. I bet Ronan's still passed out. Lucky him."

"I didn't mean to wake you. I was just bringing you some water."

"I know, thank you. Now come back to bed."

I admired him for a while, deciding what to do next. He looked good for someone who was probably extremely hungover. I had never really seen Quinn properly drunk until last night. I couldn't resist his innocent smile looking back at me, and decided to lie back down under the covers, keeping a considerable amount of space between us.

"Did you have a good birthday?"

"It's only properly started. Thanks for staying over."

"Anytime. Oh, no, wait! I didn't mean like oh anytime I'll stay over, I just meant- um, no problem," I rambled. I had never been this nervous around a boy before.

"I know what you meant, don't worry."

We were holding onto each other's gaze, both unsure what to do next, when Quinn shifted a little closer to me and slowly grabbed a piece of my hair that had fallen onto my face. He gently placed it beside my ear, allowing his hand to linger and start playing with the rest of my hair.

"You're over the invisible line," I gulped.

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay," I nodded, as I allowed myself to shift forward a little bit too, placing my hand on him, running my fingers up and down, along his arm.

"That's nice," he sighed.

I was too caught up in the moment to realise he was moving his hand until he had settled it on my lower back and started tracing circles with his finger.

"That's nice too," I giggled like an idiot as the space between us closed. "You're not on your side at all now."

"I know," he said again, leaning into me.

It was only a matter of seconds before his lips were on mine again, sober this time. And I felt all the things you're meant to feel when you're kissing a boy. Fireworks. Butterflies. Everything. It was perfect. I broke away with a huge grin on my face.

"I need to go get you your present!"

"Right now?" He pulled me closer to him, so our bodies were tight against each other, kissing me again.

"Yes, right now," I confirmed once we ran out of breath and I could finally let myself pull away again, "I'm too excited to give you it."

"But this is the best present ever," he sighed.

"Trust me, this one is better," I planted a kiss on his cheek before jumping up to leave.

"Impossible!" he called out behind me.

I was leaving in the same clothes I slept in last night, embarrassingly so, but I figured I was only going next door and there would probably be no one in my house anyway. I reached the bottom of the stairs just as his doorbell rang. "Quinn, someone's at the door, I'm going to answer it!" I shouted up to him, thinking someone probably just left something at the party last night.

A tall dark-haired girl stood before me when I opened the door, holding a gift bag. "Hi," I politely smile, trying not to look too confused, "are you looking for Quinn?"

"Hi?" She eyed me, definitely confused and potentially angry, "yes, I am. Who are you?"

"I'm Ivy, his neighbour."

"Okay, if you're his neighbour, aren't you in the wrong house?"

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Rebecca, I'm Quinn's girlfriend. From uni?"

Girlfriend. The word shocked me. So much so I audibly let out a small gasp and took a step back. Quinn had started university two school years ago, but he had taken this year out for some reason. I was almost certain it had been because of mum. He studied near the coast and stayed down there most of the semesters. He talked about it so little that I actually forgot he ever went. Or that he'd be going back.

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes? Where's Quinn?"

And just like that, Quinn appeared at the top of the stairs and as if things couldn't get any worse, he hadn't thrown on any clothes either. He was now standing gawking at me and his secret girlfriend, in only a pair of boxers. "Rebecca?" He looked shocked.

"Quinn, what's going on?" She'd stepped inside now, "you've been ignoring my calls for weeks now so I thought I would come surprise you for your birthday. But I was met with Evie here? You're neighbour?"

"Ivy," he simply stated before I had the chance to correct her.

"Ivy," she repeated back at him, almost in a snarl. "I don't think that makes a difference in the situation."

"I'm going to go," I declared, trying to ignore the pang of my chest and my eyes starting to water.

"Don't leave Ivy, just give me a second," he sped down the stairs.

"It's okay, you two seem to have a lot to talk about."

"Please just give me a second."

"Is anyone going to tell me what the fucks going on?" Rebecca was getting angrier by the second.

"I hope Quinn will tell you all about it," I gave her my best apologetic smile before ducking my head and slipping out the door, ignoring Quinn trying to stop me and Rebecca asking more questions.

The girls came over straight away when I called them. Hannah had even called up Ronan and shouted at him, as if any of this was his fault. His side of the story was that he had known Quinn had a girlfriend at uni, but they weren't currently speaking. He was almost certain his best friend was single. He hadn't mentioned Rebecca for the most part of the year, claiming he'd only ever went to visit her once or maybe twice.

None of that made me feel any better though. I had fallen for Quinn. The one person I never thought I would. The boy I used to hate. And I'd thought he was falling for me too. But I suppose Lorna was right when she'd said there was a fine line between love and hate. So fine that I forgot what side he was on.

We had seen Rebecca speed off not long after she'd arrived, gift bag still in hand. I hoped he'd told her the truth. And presumed he had by the way she reacted. I half expected her to turn around and through something through my window. But she didn't. She just got in her car and drove off.

Shortly before this, Angela and Martin arrived home, happy to see their son on his birthday. Probably surprised to be greeted by his girlfriend I feel like they weren't aware he had. By the sounds of things, I wasn't completely sure that Quinn was aware he had a girlfriend either.

I closed my eyes and finally let my tears escape, "why am I crying over a stupid boy?"

"It's not stupid!" My friends comforted me, "I can't believe Quinn would do that to you."

"When we woke up this morning, I thought he really liked me," I admitted, "after everything I've been through this year, I can't believe it's a boy that's brought me to tears."

"It wasn't just any boy though," Hannah reminded me, "don't forgot Quinn was there for a lot of what you went through this year. That's probably why you felt so close to him."

"Not anymore."