LIVING & GRIEVING

30. her last birthday

(before mum died - flashback)

"Girls, are you sure this looks okay?"

This was the fifth time mum had burst into my room to ask for outfit advice. We were running out of ways to say yes at this point. I don't know why she was so nervous. It was only a tribute night at the local, someone was impersonating Elvis Presley and she just had to go for her birthday.

"For God sake, Catherine!" Olivia squealed, laughing, "are we going to have to kick you out of here? You look great!"

"I just don't know. Would you girls tell me if this top made me look big?"

That's what it was. Mum had been on different medication recently, and she had said it was making her put on weight. Not that anyone would notice. I'm almost sure she hadn't gained an ounce. But she felt bigger.

"Mum, I've told you. You don't look big at all."

"Are you sure? I don't look bad for 55?"

"55?" Olivia pretended to be shocked, as if I hadn't already told them what age she was, "you could have fooled me for forty!"

"Oh, Olivia, you know exactly how to make my day. I might still change the top though."

"Auntie Catherine..." Hannah begun, "do you remember when I bought those dungarees last summer? My mum had told me they were ugly, and I shouldn't have wasted the money on them?"

"Yes, that's right. They had snoopy on them, didn't they?"

"Yes, those are the exact ones. Well, you told me I needed to bite the bullet and just wear the snoopy dungarees because who cares what anyone else thinks! That's exactly what you need to do. You're wearing the top. No excuses!"

"Okay," my mum laughed. She had the best laugh. "I suppose I have to then, seeing as you're using my own words against me!"

"You should know to be more careful what you say around us! We'll never forget it."

Mum had managed to convince dad to go out with her and her friends too. He didn't like to go out much, but he did it for her. It helped that Angela was forcing Martin along too. Connor, despite being old enough and invited, had decided to go out with his friends. Which meant me and the girls had a free house for the night.

I didn't plan on sneaking anyone round. But we had also raided mums' bottle of vodka she kept hidden for sneaking into bingo. Yes, when my mum and granny played bingo, they'd sneak vodka in to really enjoy themselves. It wasn't long before we were feeling the effects and decided no one would ever know if we brought the boys over. Not that they would care anyway, it was just more fun this way.

"I just don't see why we have to go through the window," Mark called up to the three of us. We were all in hysterics, watching him standing at the foot of a ladder.

"Because you're sneaking in! You can't just walk through the front door!"

"But we're at your house all the fucking time, Ivy!"

"Just get up the ladder Mark!"

We could hear the boys arguing between themselves, who was going first and who was going to hold it steady. They were taking too long with it, it begun to lose its charm. That was until Quinn showed up.

His car pulled up, a girl in the passenger seat, obviously making the most of his free house too. But his face changed when he seen the current state James was in, who happened to be the last one to climb in, with no one holding the ladder.

"Are you fucking serious?" he scowled up at us.

"What do you want, Quinn?"

"Ivy, tell me you aren't serious. What's wrong with your front door?"