LIVING & GRIEVING

29. first dates

"Come on, it's just one date. You might even have fun!"

"It's a date with Harry Jones, Olivia. There is no way this is going to end well."

"He's actually a very nice boy!"

"Didn't you call him a sleaze?"

"Yes, but that was before I knew he really genuinely likes you!"

"Says who?"

"He told James."

"Of course, he did."

Harry had somehow managed to become best friends with James, Mark, and Sean overnight. Which is probably how I got talked into going on a double date with him, James, and Olivia. Something that I didn't want to do at all. But the girls claimed I needed to stop moping around and move on with my life.

I would be lying If I denied the fact I was moping. Finding out Quinn had a girlfriend was hard. He was the first boy I had really opened up to. I trusted him. Despite not being close for very long, I thought we could at least maintain a good friendship if he didn't like me back. But not after he'd been hiding a girlfriend for months.

"The ball is in your court, V. If you don't like him, you don't have to see him again."

"I won't like him."

"We'll see."

Hannah hadn't come to help us get ready. She was completely and utterly team Quinn. I wasn't sure if that was Ronan getting in her head or if she could just see right through me. Olivia had been flabbergasted when she first heard her say she still thought me and Quinn could work. But I had to agree when she said the way I feel about him couldn't change overnight. I wouldn't like Harry Jones.

Regardless, we got ready and headed to Joes for dinner, taking up a booth in the corner. Harry and James sat beside each other, while me and Olivia sat opposite.

"It's nice to see you again, Ivy."

"You too, Harry."

"I thought maybe after leavers you weren't interested."

I'm not, my brain said. "That night was just a little wild, I was all over the place."

"Me too. Your pre drinks was definitely the best part though!"

"Thanks, Harry."

"Do you know what you're ordering?"

"Well, isn't this the cutest thing!" Our conversation was interrupted by a smiling Ronan and an angry Quinn, stood behind him. Both the boys greeted their too teammates, while me and Olivia sat with scowls on our faces.

"Are you two not going to say hello?" Quinn was talking to us now.

"No, we're not," I kept my eyes at the menu.

"This isn't meant to be a date, is it?"

"Yeah, it is, man," Harry was growing frustrated again, probably having flashbacks to the way Quinn spoke to him in the local.

"Interesting. Didn't seem liked you wanted to be with Harry," he shrugged.

"How would you know?"

"Oh, probably because-"

"Quinn, can you not do this here mate?" James eyes were pleading with him.

"I'm not doing anything."

"I think you've done enough," I smiled, sickeningly.

"Right. I think we've interrupted you for long enough too," Ronan thankfully decided, placing a hand on Quinn's shoulder, ready to guide him away. "Enjoy your evening guys," he said with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, fucking enjoy it," Quinn made sure to mutter loud enough for us to here on his way out.

"Well, that was a great start," Harry broke the silence that fell over our table.

"Sorry about that. You know how he is, we don't get on very well."

"It's fine, Ivy. We can forget about it."

That's the word I would use to describe the evening too. Fine. Harry was a nice boy. He could hold conversation. He even made a few jokes. We had a good night. But it was just fine. There were no sparks. No butterflies. Not even a small flame. But for some reason, I couldn't stop myself going along with it.

I had agreed to let him walk me home, after the dinner. I even spotted Quinn, rolling his eyes out their front living room window. He knew I didn't like Harry. I knew I didn't like Harry.

"I had a lot of fun tonight, Ivy," he stood facing me on the doorstep.

"Me too, Harry. Lots of fun." Liar.

"Would you like to do it again sometime?"

Say no. "Yeah, definitely," I smiled.

Before I could even process what was happening, his lips were on mine. On my front doorstep. Where Quinn (and probably my family) could definitely see. And I felt nothing. First kisses were meant to be exciting and sweet. But I knew they never would be after Quinn. He ruined that for me.

"I'll text you tomorrow," he smiled as he left me dumbfounded still on the doorstep.

Boy problems were even more difficult without a mum to speak to. The closest thing I had to a motherly figure was Angela. And I couldn't tell her when her son was involved. There was no way she couldn't be biased. So, I decided to tell my brother.

"Look, Ivy. I don't know what you want me to tell you here. Boys aren't my forte."

"I know, but you're in a relationship. You're meant to know what it feels like."

"Can't you ask Olivia?"

"No, because she's already made up her mind."

"I can't tell you what you're feeling though."

"But what do you think of Harry?"

"I think he's a good guy. Doesn't mean you should date him though."

"What would mean I should date him?"

"Seriously, what are you talking about?"

"How do I know If I should date him or not?"

"I guess it would just feel right."

"I don't know if I know what right feels like."

"Ivy, I don't even know what that means, this is all seriously going over my head here."

"I know. I don't know how to explain it."

"God, I wish you had a woman to speak about this to."

"Me too."