LIVING & GRIEVING

10. beach traditions

It was a tradition between friends that we would go to the beach the day after New Year's Day. January second. So, that's what we did. Normally, we would get the train and head up to the coast but this year, since I was reluctant to go far from home, we went to our local strand. The same lough Quinn had brought me to.

Mark had brought along a friend from the local paper shop, where he worked, Cliodhan. She was new to the area, and he said we would get on with her. This didn't sit well with Olivia and Hannah though, who hated new people coming into the group. It's always just been the six of us, changing the group dynamic is recipe for disaster, they would say. But she was actually really nice, and I knew the girls would like her too once she settled in. I trusted Marks' judge of character. He was probably the most observant of us all.

Cliodhan had only started our school a week or so ago. I wasn't sure why she moved but through a quick social media search, I learned her dad passed away a few years ago. I wondered if that's why Mark wanted to bring her into the group. If he thought maybe I would want to talk to her about what I was going through. It definitely wasn't a situation that would surprise me. He had been encouraging me to talk about everything and was thrilled when I said I had started seeing Lorna.

The atmosphere in the group was nothing short of weird this year. Not just because of Cliodhan joining us, but because Olivia had barely spoke to James since he rejected sleeping with her. And because I refused to even look at Sean since he tried to take advantage of me. The perfect friend group, right?

"Oh, for fuck sake," Hannah sighed, "I'm sick of this weirdness. Can we just address the elephant on the beach and hug it out?"

Hannah had always been the peacekeeper. Her and Mark were similar in that way. They were a lot more level-headed than the rest of us, always trying to sort out problems in a healthy manner, rather than choosing to briefly hate each other. We all stared at each other, waiting on someone to make the first move.

"Maybe we should take a walk Olivia, talk about it privately?" James suggested.

"No, I'm alright thanks. We're all friends here. Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of them."

"You're serious?"

"Yup."

"Alright, sorry I didn't have sex with you," Olivia almost spat out her drink at his words. "You said I could say anything."

"I didn't think you'd fucking say that James."

"Well, that's the truth. I really like you. I just panicked and I think we're good as friends."

Olivia seemed to lighten up at that fact. James had just admitted he did like her, in front of the group. She had already won in a way. "Okay yeah, friends," she smiled in agreement. But I knew her better than anyone and this definitely wouldn't be the end of her pursuing James, now that she knew for definite it was reciprocated.

"What about you two?" Hannah looked between me and Sean now.

"I don't want to talk about it to be honest," I pleaded. "No bad blood here at all. Still friends."

"I really am sorry Ivy, I didn't mean to get that drunk and upset you," Sean joined in.

"Yeah, I know. Just don't do it again."

"Definitely not. I don't know what got into me. I don't want your guard dog coming for me again anyway," he nudged me, trying to joke.

"Guard dog?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Quinn."

I audibly sighed. If we were going to stay friends, he had to stop bringing up Quinn. Jealously was radiating off of him anytime he saw the boy or even heard his name. It wasn't a good look. And there was nothing between me and Quinn. I hadn't even seen him since Christmas.

"You have to let that go, Sean."

"In all fairness V, he is everywhere you go recently. He is seriously backing your corner for being someone you claim to hate," Mark voiced.

"I don't claim to hate him. I do. He doesn't like me either. He is everywhere I go because he likes to annoy me. He lives next door for God Sake, I can't escape him."

"Oh my God, you live next door to Quinn Hale?"

It was Cliodhan's turn to join the conversation now. I had almost forgot she was there. I wondered if she was confused this whole time or if Mark had filled her in on our recent difficulties within the group. I hoped he did. Otherwise, she was probably sitting here wondering what she got herself into.

"Yeah, unfortunately I do."

"There's nothing unfortunate about that! Quinn is so hot."

"Right!" Olivia agreed, probably hoping to make James jealous, "maybe V could set you two up," this time trying to make me jealous.

"He is way out of my league! But I would love to meet him."

"Maybe someday Cliodhan," I tried to drop the conversation.

"You didn't always hate him though, right V?" James wouldn't let it go.

"I've hated Quinn Hale for almost as long as I can remember, James."

"You mustn't remember when he first moved in then. You were in love with him for about a week before you realised he was a prick to you."

Cliodhan looked curious now, while the rest of the group were giggling to each other. James wasn't wrong. But I learnt early on that his personality didn't live up to his good looks. I rolled my eyes, "drop it James or we'll fall out too."

Hannah sensed it was finally a good time for someone else to try and divert the conversation. "Now that we're all friends again," she smiled, "let's have fun."

We spent the rest of the day drinking, playing games and we even set up a small fire. Even though, it got off to a bad start, it was the most fun I had since mum got sick again. My friends were truly a family to me.