Gone 2 Long (Number Five)

Pocket Full of Lightning

We all absorb what we've just learned and tried to process it and think of a way to fix it. "I'm so confused." Diego said. "Shocking." Allison said. "Well, someone killed our mothers, so we shouldn't exist. But clearly, we do exist and the universe can't handle it, which is a problem." Viktor explained in dumb person speak. "Big problem." Five corrected sipping the coffee I got him.

Stan was doing...well I don't even know what the fuck this kid is doing but it's real loud. "Stanley! Now is not the time to be doing karate, okay?" Diego yelled. "Yeah, well, Mom said I need to practice." "Yeah, well, she's not wrong. You're very bad." "Yeah, well, I saved your pathetic ass." "Haha damn, buuurn. Welcome to the family new number 2!" I said walking over to Stan to give him a high-boyfriend. (get it? no? okay i'll go...)

"Okay, hold on. Five, so we caused a paradox. What does that mean?" Allison asked. "It's hard to say. It's all been theoretical until now, but things have started to disappear." "What things?" Viktor asked. "Right now? Uh, lobsters." "And a shit ton of cows!" Klaus exclaimed getting up from the floor.

"But I have a feeling this is just the beginning." "A feeling? Aren't you retired?" Allison questioned. "I want nothing more." "You know, you can't keep dragging us through hell because you have an itch only an apocalypse can scratch-" "Oh my gosh Klaus it's just like what you said back in normal 2019!" I told him. "Yeah!" "-and then expect us to deal with the fallout. You're not the boss." Allison argued.

"Fine, I'm the messenger, and I'm telling you something terrible is coming." Five told her. "Then let's go attack the Sparrows, get the briefcase, and go home." "This is our home, Allison. Accept it." Stan then knocked something over making us look in that direction.

"That's it! I'm telling your mom." "Ooh!" "Wait, where's Lila?" Five asked. "Shower. I told her she could stay with us." "Wait. When did Lila get back?" Viktor asked. Five got up and grabbed my hand. "Five, Scar, where're you going?" "I don't know." I said mindlessly following. "Go talk to somebody who only has half her head up her ass." He said walking away. "Don't leave, Five and Scar. Don't leave." "No, Klaus. We're leaving."

We walked all the way to the bathrooms to find Lila taking a bath and shaving. "The hell are you doing in here?" Five asked. She put her leg down. "Shaving my nest, you little pervs." "Don't flatter yourself, Lila. I like my women a little less likely to kill me in my sleep." "The hell are you doin' with me then? Also do flatter yourself Lila, take this the right way, you are a milf." I told her smiling. Five just glared at me and I shrugged.

"We're learning so much about each other." She said then throwing a knife at Five making him jump out of the way just in time. Landing behind her. She turned to look at him and then jumped behind him and throwing him against the mirror. She kicked and punched him repeatedly. "Five I so want to help but I have to admit this is fun to watch."

Then a knife came at me too! I threw a stone up to block me. "Oh hell no! And to think I called you a milf!" I slapped her in the face with a vine causing her to turn around to see Five armed with a towel. They fought some more until Five got the towel around her neck.

She then jumped away and grabbed the knife and popped back in front of him and tried to stab him again while he grabbed a metal tray as a shield which the knife broke through. He threw it down and it was back to hand to hand until he threw her away and threw shampoo in her eyes making her groan as he kicked her in the face.

"All right, enough." She said picking up a towel wrapping it around herself. "I'd forgotten how much I hate you, you puny little turd." "The feeling's mutual, Lila." He said sitting down. "As much as I'd love to stand here shivving each other, I have bigger concerns than you." "Yeah? Like what?"

"What do you know about the grandfather paradox?" He asked getting up. "Well, I read the same training manuals as you did. Why?" "Because it's happening." "You being stupid?" "Hand over your briefcase. I need to go to Herb and find out how he let things get so cocked up." "Over there with my knickers. Toss them to me, will you?"