Gone 2 Long (Number Five)

Auf Wiedersen

We made it back to the hotel and found Diego and Lila in a panic, they told us about this secret other world "Hotel Oblivion" in the White Buffalo Suite. Five stood and investigated while Diego and Lila argued about what happened to Stanley.

"What the hell are you doing? Stanley is gone! We need to face this!" Lila screamed at him. "Just check the chimney alright!" He yelled back. "He's not in the bloody chimney! He's been Kugelblitzed!" "And whose fault is that, huh? You're the one that brought him here!"

"Congratulations. You're both mildly terrible parents. Can we focus. Come on. How did this thing open before?" Five asked. "I don't know. It was already kinda open." Diego answered. "Already kinda open. You know, Diego, you should have been an engineer. It's a lost opportunity." "Yeah, instead he became Walmart Batman." I joked. "Why'd you wanna go in there anyway? It's just sushi and death." "When we met future me in the Commission bunker, I warned myself about Oblivion. Now, Pogo told me-"

"Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa! Pogo's alive?" Diego asked. "Different Pogo, but yes. The monkey said-" I slapped his arm for calling Pogo a monkey he sighed and continued. "Dad spent years training the Sparrows for some kind of super-secret mission into..." "Oblivion?" Lila finished. "Yes." I answered. "So, I come back here and find that you two sentient STDs have actually been in there. Everything's leading to Oblivion. So we have to go in there." Five told us. We all said at the same time...
Diego: "Hell no! Not happening.
Lila: "No way! We barely got out alive."
Me: "Yeah, fuck that."

"Yeah? So what? This is about more than just you two. And Scar I expected better from you." "Uh yeah no. If I'm dying at the end of all this anyway I'd like all my limbs thanks." I replied. "Yeah, says the guy with all his fingers. I didn't get this by giving a mummy a hand job, all right? I went in there and I lost my fingers to this thing with...with a knife on a chain."

"Hey, look, Diego might be 90% moron and 10% pelvic thrusts, but he's right about Oblivion, okay? We're not just gonna waltz back in there just because you say so." Lila told him. "Good. Because you're coming with us." We all looked at Luther and Sloane who had just walked in. "This should be interesting. Where to?" Five asked. "Sparrow Academy." Sloane replied. "The world's ending, so I think it's time we put our petty bullshit aside and work together on this Kugelblitz." Luther added. "Yeah? Or what?" Diego threatened. Me and Five walked over to Luther and Sloane. "Or Stanley won't be the last of us to disappear." Lila told him as we all left the room.

When we got to the Sparrow Academy we stood in the living room waiting for the Sparrows to show up. Grace came in and offered us cookies but she looked like a disaster she was missing an eye and glitching. Lila nonetheless took some cookies.

"Welcome. Please make yourselves at home." Fei said to us as she, her raven, and Ben walked in. "Bitch, this is our home." Allison told her. "Allison dial down the hostility will ya?" I whispered to her. "Excuse me?" Fei asked Allison. Luther offered Fei some jellybeans to ease the tension which really did nothing.

"Where the hell is Viktor and Klaus?" Diego asked. "With our luck, probably Kugelblitzed by now." Five said. I stepped away from him made a snowball and threw it full force at his face, glaring at him as he wiped off the snow. "You're a dark little dude sometimes. Nice job Scar." Diego told me as we fist bumped. "Ooh, what happened to your hand?" Fei asked him. "We don't have time for idle chitchat. Everyone, sit down." Ben told us.

"Please would be nice." Diego stated as most of us sat down. "No." Ben simply answered. I went to go sit in the chair next to Allison but Five grabbed my wrist and pulled me to sit next to him on the couch. I sighed and sat leaving distance between us. Diego went to sit down and gestured me to move so Five pulled me closer to him. I rolled my eyes but gave in.