Capture It Remember It

Unhealthy

The new day was sunny. There was no trace of dark clouds. It could easily be a nice day for a walk. Saturday mornings are always the best. There's nothing you gotta do, and you're free to sleep as much as you want.

In our case, Taylor and Joe are are still in the same position as last night. Her head against his chest and their legs entangled under a white sheet. They really looked like a normal couple.

Joe had been awake for almost 20 minutes. He never moved to change position or to get up. It would make him feel bad that he would have been the reason she would have woken up.

His mind is traveling in everything and nothing. There's so much stuff in there that he can't just put in order. For now he's just trying to ignore everything. He really doesn't want to have to care about anything. It's selfish and he knows it, but what can he do about it? Absolutely nothing. So many things are troubling his mind and he's not in the mood to deal with any of these. At least not now. He's not ready for anything that contains the word importance.

Looking down on the floor he could distinguish their clothes and underwear, and even the used condom. Memories of the last night flooded his mind. About that? What he could say? There was nothing to say or do. They just had sex as two normal people because they needed it. It's nothing more. Or at least that's what his subconscious says to him.

All of a sudden, as he was lost deep into his thoughts, he felt Taylor's soft movements. She made a cute sound and then yawned, quickly making herself even more comfortable on his chest. It really felt like a nest to her.

None of them was talking. There was a pure silence in the air. Forcefully, Taylor opened her eyes and blinked a few times getting used to the sunshine. Joe looked into her eyes. There would be no one to deny that she had the most enchanting eyes in the world. This electric blue color is just everything someone needs to have in his life.

"Good morning" Taylor said and kissed his cheek, having a small smile on her face.

Joe didn't say anything in response. He just sat up on the bed and pulled away from him the white sheet that was covering them. He bent down and grabbed his black boxers. Taylor sat up feeling anxious because of that. She got upset.

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked him full of curiosity feeling as if she was the problem. Insecurities had gotten all over her.

Joe just sighed and lowered his head, placing his forehead in his palms. "I-... I'm just not the guy for a relationship Taylor" he told her. That was an abrupt good morning to her.

"Oh uhm... " Taylor didn't know how to answer

"Taylor... You don't understand" he sighed "I'm not the guy you're looking for. I'm not that romantic person who wakes up in the morning and says the three words. I love you..."

"I never said I wanted you to be like that Joe. I-" she got cut off by him

"Last night you said you think you love me"he turned around to look at her straight in the eyes "But I'm afraid that I don't feel the same way. I can't love Taylor and it's not about you. I'm just made like this. I can't love. You can't change me. Don't ask me to change." Joe said

"I would never tell you to change. And I know I can't." she lowered her head and placed her forehead on her knees

"Just to clear out some things. I don't love you Taylor. I won't ever love you. You were just a good fuck and that's it. Nothing more. You're not something special. Just a normal woman as all the others in this world"

Taylor felt that knot in her throat was ready to break and make her burst into tears. His words were as sharp as a knife "So I was just another woman for you to fuck?!"