my salvation (chris evans)

chapter five - do you...

I gulp. "Liv—" I breathe out, feeling sickness in the pit of my stomach. She gives me a faint smile.

"Hey..."

"Wh-what are you... why are you here?" She walks closer to me, sitting on the rock next to me.

"Abi. Your mum called her to see if the two of you were together because she was getting worried about you. Then it got Abi worried. We've been driving around for ages trying to find you." I glance back to see Abi standing far back and she gives me an apologetic smile. "I wasn't her first choice, don't worry." I look back at Liv. "Last resort. She didn't know where you'd be. Figured because we've known each other for years, I might." She explains and I glance down.

"How did you f-find me?"

"You've told me about this place before. You used to come here a lot as a kid. I figured it was worth a try. It's a pretty incredible view, to be honest." With a gentle nod, I look back up.

"Yeah..."

"Look, Meg, I know you don't want to see me, and I completely understand, but a lot of people are worried about you. I'm worried about you." Uncontrollably, I scoff, and she sighs, nodding. "I know I've given you no reason to believe a word I say. But since we got back, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I understand that what I did to you was unforgivable. You have every right to be pissed at me. I'm not here for that, I swear. Just hear me out, okay? Hear me out and you can go back to hating me." I look at her, desperate to hide away my tears. "Abi's caught me up. She said you're finding it hard, being so far away from Chris — the long distance. And that there's comments online that you've read?"

"I'm s-sure you're happy about it." I mumble, glancing out at the night sky. She sighs.

"I'm not, actually. Look, this past month — this past month I've come to realise a few things. I don't have anyone, and I know I've brought that on myself. I have so many guys on Snapchat that tell me they'll be around when I need them, but you know what they mean when they say that? They'll be around when I want some fun — not when it really matters. Not the way that Chris is there for you. What you two have, it's rare. I know I didn't spend a lot of time with you guys as a couple, but even from afar, you could see how much he adored you. Don't let it go just because of some nasty comments online." She tells me sternly and my eyes water. I shake my head.

"It's s-so easy for you to say. You're confident. You don't g-give a shit what p-people think."

"That's not always a good thing. Look at all the trouble I've caused. At how much I hurt you, the only person that's ever been there for me through all my shit." The tears stream down my cheeks and I look down, bopping my leg up and down. "You're the most loyal person I've ever met. You're the kindest person I know. These comments don't matter. They just come from people who are jealous and bitter. They come from a bunch of mes. My biggest regret is what I did that night. Hell, what I did for the entire time to be honest. I wish I was a better friend back then, but I understand that I've lost my chance to make things right. Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't make a decision you'll regret. Do you love him?" A lump in my throat forms and I nod slowly. "Then don't give up. Stop avoiding him. Talk to him. You guys have something special. You really do. He thinks the world of you, Meg. Don't give that up, not for anyone."

"And what about everything else?"

"Nothing else matters. Not the comments, not what anyone else says, nothing. All that matters is the two of you. There's always going to be negative comments. These people will always find ways to bring you down."

"B-But you were rrright. L-Look at his exes compared to me."

"And? People still said shitty things about them. It doesn't matter what you look like, what you do, how you talk or dress, these people will shame you, but you can't let it get to you. Chris chose you. He wants to be with you." I twiddle with my thumbs and she takes a deep breath, looking out at the stars.