Break in | Bangchan Fanfic

13.

Shit, but you guys are going to hate me for this one, I am sorry.......

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You and Bangchan were, at last left staring at eachother, with an awkward atmosphere hanging around you both. Both left quiet staring at nothing with different thoughts running through your mind.

Your mind going back to the memories from that day, where you had desperately tried to think of someone and had run short on whom you could call. That day, when the tears left your eyes, they weren't because you were hurt, no, it was because you had suddenly hit the realisation that you were terrifyingly alone.  You had felt terrified.

You had long since known the fact that you were alone. That you had no-one to help in need, and that was why you had taken self-defense classes the first thing when you had gotten your first pay. Your family didn't understand why it was so necessary for you, but you did.

It was hopeless to trust people to take care of you, they won't always be present. Somethings you will have to do yourself, and you were very clear about this.

But now that you were suddenly hit with someone who wanted to care for you, wanted to keep you safe. You didn't dare to believe that this would last. That this was true.

How can you believe people again, after everytime getting hit because of doing the same?  Everytime  you dared trust people, it had always gotten you in trouble, and that aside, were you even in the situation to trust someone? Could you afford to let people in, to get close enough to them to trust them?

You knew, you weren't.

Bangchan on the other hand, was left only with a bigger burden of guilt weighing him down. It was natural you were angry at him, wouldn't want to look at him.

Always, he would insist you called him, but didn't give you his number. No one wants to fight alone in situations like these, and you most definitely must have desperately looked someone for support, but didn't get any, because you didn't have his damned number. You must have been scared too, in need of help. But you had to fight against those bastards all alone.

He felt ashamed to call himself your fiancé. How could he, when he didn't even fulfill the basic duties and responsibilities regarding you? Rather he was always the one to give you all sorts of troubles. His thoughts earlier, made him feel selfish. Hell, he thought about his life, his bandmates, his family, his reputation, what about yours?

Your Life, the life he knew nothing about. Your friends, that he knew not one of them. Your family, how they treated you, why you were so cold to them, nothing. Your reputation, and just how much it would be affected because of this marriage. Did he even deserve you?

He always thought he wanted you to know him, wanted to know you, but at the last it was you who come up to know him, even after multiple times you stated you didn't want to. It were your actions that showed that you cared. His never did. You were careful enough to get his bandmates comfortable, you were the one treating his bandmates, his family so very politely and in a  friendly manner, even though you didn't like him. You didn't hurt his loved ones once, despite whatever you said.

He felt ashamed, that he had to learn about your problems from Hyunjin when he should have been the first one to know about them. He felt guilty for not being there for you when you needed him. How could he even say that he will take care of her, when she didn't even have his number?

It was Jisung that had broke the silence as he had come in chaotically. Both of your head whipped in his direction, and there he was standing, one of his hand held infront of him, whipping left and right and one hand on his eyes, whilst he staggered in kicking the bottle of soju you were just drinking a few minutes before. Both you and Chan were bewildered at his sudden reaction, but Jisung was quick to defend himself, "I can't see anything, I really can't see anything! You guys can continue whatever you both are doing after listening to me though! I just came to tell you that Changbin is going to do a beatboxing show, so I thought Y/n might want to see it." He paused, swinging his hand again, whilst he was facing the wall with you both on his left side.