the silent hero | bnha

chapter 64

a c t i v.
❝ i am a raging sea trapped inside a raindrop. ❞
━━ chapter lxiv.

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Shizumi stood with a stoic, emotionless expression as she knelt before Nighteye's coffin. Her hair was pulled into a low ponytail, and she wore her school uniform, with dark bags underneath her eyes, and her skin pale. His coffin was layered in wreaths and strands of multicolored flowers that weaved across the smooth surface like a tapestry.

She'd never imagined she would be here so soon.

No, she couldn't even accept the fact that Nighteye was gone. Gone from this world. She would never see him again, ever, nowhere in this world. She couldn't hear his grunts again, hear his voice again, see him scold her again. None of that. All was gone.

He was gone.

And although she repeated those things in her mind and came to a harsh realization that he was dead, she couldn't let out a single tear. Her eyes were dry, and her tears were gone. She really was emotionless, wasn't she? It was her fault that he was dead, and yet she couldn't cry for him as he was burnt to ashes.

"Shizumi."

She twisted over her shoulder to see Aizawa standing there, his usual stoic expression, but even she could see a few hints of sadness in his eyes. Even he was crying, and she wasn't.

"You should go back to school now. You've seen enough."

She nodded at him, and stood up from the place before Nighteye's coffin, pulling her hands to lay motionlessly by her side, and went out of the room, staring at her footsteps and counting them. She saw the familiar suits and lips of familiar people. 

Midroiya, Tsu, Ochaco, Kirishima stood by the main door, where she was headed too. Besides them were the Big Three, as well as Centipeder, Bubble Girl, and Ryukyu. All Might stood off the side closer to the door.

But Shizumi couldn't see any of their faces.

The moment she looked up, she was subconsciously having pencil marks covering their faces in her vision, their voices being blocked out, and words barely reaching her ears. It was as if she was subconsciously rejecting anyone's existence right now, and was only seeing herself live and breathe pathetically in the world.

All Might look like he had a lot to say to her, even Togata looked like it too, but none of them knew what to say. They couldn't say "its going to be okay" because it wasn't. Not for her, at least.

She still had so much going on in her life and this? A death in her hands? It was something even bigger.

It was slowly breaking her.

"Everyone's here. Good," Aizawa-sensei said, scanning around the group as Shizumi walked in. "Today is hard for all of us. I even contemplated not bringing you students along just for your well-being, because I thought it would be too much for you all to handle.

The 1-A students looked as good as Shizumi felt, which was not good at all. Dark circles dragged beneath most of their eyes, and their spirits felt crushed. They lacked any enthusiasm and bowed heads, and although the Big Three held themselves high, they were only pushing down the facade underneath.

"We've all had it rough since the raid ended," Midoriya said. "But Sir deserves a proper send-off. We all wanted to be here, Sensei."

The others gave silent nods of confirmation, but the female redhead who was the permanently silent one didn't reply. She couldn't hear anything with the guilt drowning her.

"Like I said," Aizawa continued. "I contemplated it. But I figured, since you all experienced his death first-hand, you would want to come and be here, despite everything that happened: So I let you guys come."