Broken Bones

Episode 44 "The Man in the Outhouse" Part 1

-Venus POV-

It was early in the morning, and I did not have a good night's rest. I hear Booth outside the door yelling out to us, "Bones! Blueberry! Bones, Blueberry, wakey-wakey." I get out of my room as he continues to ring and call out our names, "Bones? Blueberry?" I finally got to the door as I opened it revealing him smiling all happy and ready with three cups of coffee as he says, "Wakey-wakey. Eggs and Bakey." I smile at him, "Thank goodness you are here Ranger... you don't think I could last another night here." "Why? What's going on?" We then see Temp coming over to us with the same bed hair as me for a different reason as she says, "Do you have any idea what time it is?" "6:30, which is why I brought you both this." He hands us our coffee as I add, "Thank you. I will definitely be needing this... Are you here to take me away... Please tell me that you are." Booth laughs adding, "Nice, uh, bed head you both have there."

We then hear someone else come out into view as he only wears a towel around his waist. I blush furiously as I look up at the ceiling as Booth says, "Hmm. Whoa!" He looks at Temp and whistles in a teasing manner as Temp says, "So, uh, Seely Booth, Mark Gaffney." Mark then says, "Hey." Booth does the same, "Hey." Booth then thought of something, "Wait if you both have bed hair does that mean that there is another guy coming out?" Booth looks waiting as Venus blushes even more still not looking down from the ceiling as she punches his shoulder lightly, "No! I have bed hair for a different reason." Temp then asks, "What do you want, Booth?" He looks at us, "My partners. Got some pre-breakfast remains for you both." I chuckle, "Thanks, I have been meaning to make an excuse to get out." Booth then looks at Mark again, "You, uh, getting a little chilly there, Mark?" I nod agreeingly as Mark says, "I think I'll put some clothes on." I smile, "Excellent choice." Temp gives us a look as we just smile at her and fist bump as I say, "We should also get ready. Be out in 25." I rush to my room getting ready for the day.

We are in the car making our way to the crime scene as I close my eyes to get much needed rest as Temp then says to Booth, "It would be good if you called first." "Well, who knew you were even dating?" "Well, I wouldn't call it dating. We occasionally make arrangements to spend time together." "I'm just surprised you're not more picky." I chuckle as saying, "You got no idea what she's doing Ranger." Temp then says, "My relationship with Mark is purely physical, and I am very satisfied with him in that area. Did you see his chest and his thighs?" Booth and I say at the same time, "Bones." "Temp." "What? Haven't either of you chosen someone because they were satisfying sexually?" I then say, "No, because I haven't had my first sexual encounter. Plus I am a believer that there has to be more than sex." Booth nods, "I agree with her. I also am a believer on that." We high-fived each other as Temp says, "Not really. Our interests and professions do not intersect."

Booth then asks, "Well, what is he? Bricklayer? You know, truck driver? Tango dancer?" "He is a deep-sea welder." I did not know about that as Booth and I say, "Whoa!" Booth continues, "Wow. I wouldn't even think to put that on the list." "Well, they work on oil derricks, repair boats. After being at sea for months at a time, he seems to enjoy having a sexual relationship, so..." I giggle as Booth nods, "I'm sure. I'm sure. Deep-sea welder." Temp smirks, "He can hold his breath for three minutes down there." Booth asks, "Underwater?" I gave him a confused stare on where else he would have to hold his breath as Temp says, "Of course." She gives him a look as I say, "Okay, I seem to be the only one not to understand. Temp explain this to me, please." I lean in as she whispers what he meant as I start blushing and cringing as I then say, "Oh gosh... I walked right into that one. I shouldn't have asked." I sigh as Booth laughs and I lay back down on the seats taking my nap that I desperately need.

We finally make it to the crime scene as Booth says when we get out of the car, "Come on, seriously, who thinks it's a good idea to blow up an outhouse?" I shrug as Temp says, "Probably accidental." I nod, "Sure. Assuming a minimum methane level of five percent, a simple spark could trigger the explosion. But of course, that would depend on the level of fecal deposit in the tank." Booth then says, "Okay. Just stop." I nod as Temp laughs at him, "Your aversion to feces is irrational. It's three-quarters water." "Don't mention that to the guy who almost got his ass blown off." I shake my head, "What a bad way to loss a butt." Temp asks, "He survived?" Booth answers, "Well, kind of, but he ain't gonna be making any contributions to the gene pool anytime soon." I cringe, "Poor guy..." Booth nods as Temp says, "If the victim is alive, then why are we here?" "Take a look. Go ahead." We walk up a bit seeing a whole load of feces as Temp and I make a disgust look as Booth nods, "Yeah." I then say, "These are times that I am absolutely glad that I am the Director of the Jeffersonian. So, I will stay back here with Ranger and let you handle it Temp, since you are the very best." Booth nods with me agreeing as Temp gives us a really look as we start walking away.