Maybe it's time for a change. (RECONTINUED MAYBE?)

Chapter 1- Magpies suck.

The rain is falling harder, will this city flood? It's already happened with so many towns here, from me being on fire and killing hundreds of my own people, to now floods all over the continent, I hope my friends are ok, this is getting too hard to just try ignore. If I'm the physical embodiment of the country, then I need to do something about, not just sit around and wait for the rain to subside.

Maybe I can ask NSW and Vic to get their shit together and try to stop the flooding or at least evacuate everyone that's at risk of flooding. I'll just fucking ring them I guess.

"Yeah what do you want?"

"Vic, tell NSW and yourself to get your shit together, the floods are bothering me."

"We already evacuated as much people as we could that were probably going to flood."

"Good, now once it's confirmed that the weather isn't fucking permanent, get them back to some new fucking homes."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

I just hope that a quarter of Australia isn't going to be flooded. God, I haven't seen a person in days, I might visit New Zealand soon, just to see how my bros going. Wait, didn't NZ leave to go adventure or some shit like that? I think Papua New Guinea did as well. Fuck me. What am I gonna do now? My bloody friends are adventuring or some shit, still don't know what they're doing.

Maybe I'll text Canada, just ask what he's doing.

Hey mate, what are ya doing?

Good Aus, you?

Yeah, yeah, ok I guess, just that I haven't seen a fucking human in a couple days.

Oh, that's depressing, maybe you should try find love or something. Find someone who you like? Maybe Japan! I think you two would make a good couple!

...

What? Just tell me if you want her number, you know what, I'll just give you it alright?

Ok, ok, I'll think about.

Alright buddy! I hope that helped, maybe I'll come visit soon, if that's ok with you.

Yeah, thanks mate, you can visit whenever you want.

Alright. Bye!

Bye.

Ok... how will I tell anyone this? I already had a crush on Japan that I just forgot about because of the fires to the floods. I hate this weather but how do I tell anyone. For fucks sake, maybe I can ask Vic? No, no, I can figure this out myself, just gotta think of what the fuck to do. Let's just hope Australia doesn't explode or some shit, I probably shouldn't jinx it, I probably just doomed the entire continent of Oceania just by thinking that.

Alright, so, I got her number already, I'll just introduce myself, she probably already knows me because of how much bloody natural disasters (only 2) I've had in the past decade. Maybe show her some of the best things in my country, like a big ass rock and a massive fuckin living thing, the biggest living thing on earth. (besides your mother. Ok, I'm kidding, possibly) 

Eh, I'll think of something while it's happening, maybe I'll check on Burney, the massive fucking scary as hell baby croc! From hell! I seriously don't know what's wrong with it. It's tail opens up and there's some fuckin teeth! What kind of birth defect is that? Doctors reading this, tell me what the actual fuck that is because it definitely not fuckin normal, also, it's bloody head is bigger than it's entire body! What the fuck!?

 Ok, let's hope Burney isn't hungry though. That'll be bad, well, time to call him over here.

"Твой папа ушел"

And just after speaking Russian for a bit, I should probably try not to get stomped on. And I have no idea how to speak Russian but I guess when I met him I suddenly knew how to speak those words, and those words only. Don't question it.

And he's already here, that was fast.

"How ya doing buddy?"

He makes an excited squeak, that means he's definitely not hungry, thank god.

"We might be getting a visitor soon! It's my brother!"

He seemed to smile, the most a massive croc from hell can smile.

"Well Burney, when he gets here you better try not to eat him, don't eat anyone, that would probably ruin my friendship with everyone that, well, is my friend."

Burney nodded, he also seemed quite excited to meet Canada.

"Alright, I just wanted to check on you, now you can go back to wherever you live."

He nodded again and his tail came up from behind and opened it's strange second mouth and a large purple crystal was dropped on the floor and smashed into a million different pieces.

"Where the hell did you find that?"

His pointed his tail towards the south.

"Alright, I might tell SA that they may have to worry about giant random purple crystals growing around there."

He nodded, again, looking amused for some fucking reason, that wasn't even funny.

"Just go home already."

And just like that, he was gone. Alright, wait I forgot it was raining, I'm fucking soaking wet, I hate this weather so much. My bloody hairs all wet and my clothes, fuck, usually it's never raining, ever. But the one time it does rain it sucks so much. I need to go have a shower and go to bed.

Ok, that's it for chapter 1, I really hope you enjoyed! Bye!