Shadows Whisper | | Azriel

39

The rest of that day went by quietly, and the next morning, Astryn found herself heading back outside to the training area outside. Cassian was already training, going through all his exercise warm ups. He greeted her kindly as she sat on the ground with a plate of pancakes.

He continued training as she sat and watched the sunrise while she ate.

For a week straight, it went on like that. Astryn woke up and went up to where Cassian was already doing his exercises and she ate pancakes as she watched the sun come up. After a week, though, she changed her routine just slightly.

"No pancakes this morning?" Cassian noted in place of a greeting.

Astryn shifted nervously, suddenly second guessing herself.

"I, um...I was wondering if you could teach me," she stumbled over her words, face red with embarrassment, "the stuff you do. The exercises and such. It's entirely okay if not. Sorry—"

"Relax," he cut in gently, giving a reassuring smile, "of course I'll teach you."

A bit of the tension drained from Astryn and she managed to smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. Cassian wondered what her real smile might look like, how it might warm her eyes. He hoped to see her truly happy one day. He hoped to see her grow comfortable as part of their family. He hoped she to see her accept Rhys as her brother, to accept the whole group as her family and to find peace and happiness with Azriel. He hoped for so many things, because she deserved all those good things. He didn't let himself dwell on that right now though.

"We'll start off light," he told her, "you'll need to do a lot to build up some muscle. And you'll need to start eating more if you can. How many times a day have you been eating?"

"Just once," she answered with an awkward shrug, and he tried not to react visibly to that.

"You won't have the energy to much if you're only eating once a day and it's only pancakes. You need some protein in your diet. Plus having lunch and dinner is important too," he said, "we'll work on that. If you want to start training this morning, we'll start with stretches and working on your balance and breathing."

"Breathing?" she echoed, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You need better breath control. You get winded pretty easily since you're not very physically active, and you breathe unevenly when you get nervous. Controlling that is important," he explained it as simply as he could. "It'll make sense once you actually feel the difference."

"Okay," she replied with a nod, not questioning him any further.

She dutifully followed every instruction he gave her, going through different sets of stretches that left her sore and aching. She found herself appreciating that ache though—the sensation of it was grounding.

"Did you eat anything before you came out here this morning?" Cassian asked after nearly an hour, noting the way she trembled even when she stood relaxed between stretches.

"No," she answered honestly, and he nodded.

"That's enough for now then, you should go eat something," he said, "tomorrow morning we'll have breakfast before we start. I'll show you what I usually eat—it's not quite as tasty as pancakes but it's more nutritious and will help keep you from getting worn out too quickly."

"Thank you," she told him, and they both knew it was for more than just the breakfast advice.

"Don't worry about it," he dismissed, giving a kind smile. She smiled back. It still didn't reach her eyes.

"Are you staying out here?" she inquired hesitantly, to which he nodded. She went inside and got a bit of food before coming back outside.

She sat on the ground and ate, watching Cassian with an assessing stare. He did some of the same stretches he had taught her, and she noted the differences between his movements and hers, filing it away in her mind so she could correct the flaws in her movements when they no doubt repeated the same set tomorrow morning. Cassian didn't do all of the things he taught her. Most of the stuff he did consisted of things she probably wouldn't have enough muscle built up to do for a good amount of time, but she still watched with that assessing gaze and stored all the information away so she would be ready for it when he eventually did teach her those things.

Cassian looked over to her when he was done, and he was honestly a little surprised to find her still there. He thought she would have gone inside when she finished eating.

"I think I'm too sore to stand up," she answered his unasked question.

He grinned at her after letting out a quiet laugh.

"Soreness is good. It means you actually put in some work," he reasoned as he held out his hand for her.

She hesitated before taking his outstretched hand and letting him help her up. He tried not to let himself think about how thin she still was. She had hardly gained any weight since arriving after her time in captivity. Her fingers were bony in his grip. Pretty much every bit of her was bony and small and he was beginning to wonder if he should wait to do any real training with her until she gained some weight. He didn't want to risk the exercise making her lose any more weight. He planned to take things slow and easy to start with anyway, but he adjusted the plans he had begun formulating to be even slower, easier. It would take more time than he initially thought to build up to anything more than stretching, balancing, and breathing. He didn't mind that though. Getting those things perfect was crucial for everything moving forward.

"You did good today," he told her as he released her hand once she was stable on her feet, "really good for a first day, honestly. Go get some rest and make sure you eat today."

"Thank you," she said again, and surprised them both by wrapping her arms around him.

He hugged back, careful and gentle and way too aware of the way he could feel the outline of her ribs. He wanted to kill everyone who had any hand in keeping her captive and starved. Azriel would probably beat him to that though. Or Rhys would.

"Any time," he mumbled in response to her thanks before he let go of her.

Her smile still didn't reach her eyes, but it was a small fraction less dull now. Her eyes were a bit less lifeless. It hit Cassian in that moment how much she really did look like Rhys. Her violet eyes were twins to his, her nose was similar to his. Her dark hair matched his. Her facial structure was a bit similar to his as well, and Cassian imagined that once she gained some weight and her cheeks weren't sunken in, she would probably look even more like her half brother.

She headed inside, and for the first time in her life she felt just the slightest bit proud of herself.