Shadows Whisper | | Azriel

43

"We should get back to the house," Cassian suggested softly, hoping to just get her out of the city before the night could get any more eventful.

"I don't want to go back there," Astryn mumbles, eyes suddenly welling up with tears, "it's so...it's so big and I don't like it. And I hate it even more because I don't have anywhere else to go."

"We can...there's another house. It's here in the city, we can go there," Cassian offered, chest aching at the sight of tears rolling down Astryn's cheeks. He didn't know why it was then that he remembered how young she really was. He was over a hundred years older than her, and he became very aware of that as he looked into her watery violet eyes. She looked so young and hurt and innocent and Cassian get horribly guilty that this was her first excursion out into the world.

She only nodded in response, tears still falling as she let Cassian gather her up in his arms. He flew her to the town house and took her inside. She was tense and still in tears and Cassian wished there was something he could do to help her relax.

"I'm so tired," she mumbled, so much sadness in her voice, "is life ever going to not feel bad?"

"It'll get better," he promised, finding himself wrapping his arms around her. "I promise. It'll get better."

"I need it to stop hurting," she cried quietly against him, "everything just hurts all the time and I need it to stop. I need it to stop. Even when I sleep it hurts. I just remember everything and it's so—I didn't even fight. I didn't even fight and they still hurt me all the time just because they could and...I didn't fight. I let them do whatever they wanted and I was so good for them all the time but they just hurt me and hurt me and I don't understand why they were so mean. I was good. Am I—am I not good?"

"You're good," he assured her, "you're so good. They're the ones who aren't good. It's on them, not you."

She didn't respond to that, just cried against him. He kept his arms around her, steady and unwavering.

"It'll be okay," he murmured gently, "it'll be okay, I promise."

He managed to ease them onto the couch without letting go of her. She curled up on his lap and all he could think was she felt so fragile in his arms. He could still feel her power—the weight of it was so heavy in the air and he knew she could probably level the entire city if she wanted to, but she still somehow felt fragile even with all of that overwhelming power. She stayed curled up on his lap crying, shadows curling protectively around her, until Azriel eventually showed up. His eyes were wild with panic, even more so when he realized she was crying.

She looked up at him, eyelashes wet and heavy from her tears.

"What happened?" Azriel asked her softly, not even acknowledging Cassian as he took her right from his lap and held her close to himself. He looked to Cassian when he picked up the faint scent of alcohol. "Has she been drinking?"

"She had two shots of something and a bit of another drink before I realized she wasn't with me," Cassian informed him, already ready for the fury that Azriel would no doubt unleash on him.

"You let her take drinks from strangers?" he concluded, voice cold and dangerous in a way it rarely ever was when he spoke to his brothers.

"Don't be mad at him," Astryn spoke up quietly, "he's my friend."

Cassian almost smiled at that, he would have if not for the death glare Azriel was giving him.

"We'll discuss this later, Cassian," Azriel told him, and Cassian nodded. Astryn wasn't content with that though.

"It's not his fault," she said with a pout, eyes still watery. She didn't really think through what she said next. She still lacked a full understanding of just how significant a mate bond was. "I won't let you be my mate if you're not nice to him."

Azriel released her from his arms immediately and took a step backwards. Part of him knew she didn't get the severity of a statement like that, didn't feel the way it thrummed violently down the bond as if it was damn near snapping in two at her almost rejection, didn't feel it echo in her heart the way he did. But it also hurt despite knowing that.

"Astryn," Cassian said quietly, eyes darting from Azriel to her, "it's okay, he's just worried about you. Let's get you up to bed and then Az and I are going to talk, okay?"

"I don't want him to be mean to you," she mumbled, eyes still welled up with tears, "it's not your fault. I was the one who wandered off and I let those people give me those drinks and it's not your fault. If he's gonna be mean to anyone, he should be mean to me, not you."

"He won't be mean to anyone," Cassian assured her, "he's only worried that something happened. It was your first time out in the city. He's just worried, okay?"

"He's gonna be nice to you?" Astryn pressed, and Cassian nodded. She let herself relax back against Azriel after that, hiding her face against his chest.

Azriel hesitated, like he expected her to back away from him and reject him for real. His insides still felt like they were on fire in the worst way from what she had said. Even the shadows had eased away from her when she said she wouldn't let him be her mate. They hesitated to go back to her just like he did, like even they weren't sure she wanted them.

"You gotta be nice to Cass," she mumbled against his chest, "he's the only person other than you that I like."

He eased up slightly at that. She didn't sound like she hated him and was going to reject him. The shadows pulled in towards her again, lightly caressing her in what seemed to be an apologetic way. Azriel's wings curled in around her and he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"I'll be nice, I promise," he told her quietly, overly aware of Cassian staring at them.

He doubted he would ever hear the end of this.