Why is Everything so Loud?! (Fem. Percy)

Family Dinners, Family Matters Pt 1

Dad woke me in the end, though I had a feeling he hadn't meant to. He held me against him, standing next to my bed, stroking my hair as water moved the covers back. I turned my head, nuzzled my nose into the soft material of his shirt. The darkness between us soothed the pulsating ache behind my left eye. 

"Why were you on the floor?" he asked.

I didn't answer.

His aura still didn't touch me, even as he brushed his fingers over my cheek. Shuddering, I realized that I wanted it back. The thing I'd been trying to escape, to avoid, was like an addiction: making me frantic and searching.

"Percy?"

"I felt like I was going to get kicked off."

He hummed. He sat me on the bed and scanned me. Water brushed against my arms. I whimpered. It backed away, as did his presence in it until I could control it if I wanted. Frowning, I prodded at the knowledge. How did I know that?

"You look good enough for dinner. Unless you want to change?"

"Do you even have enough food for mortals here?" I asked dismissively.

"You'll be able to eat it." He picked up the soup mug, contents long since cooled. Guilt settled in my stomach when he frowned. "They didn't give you anything. And you weren't eating before that, were you?"

"I wasn't hungry." It sounded lame to my own ears, nevermind what it must've been to him.

Again, he hummed. Low, rumbling, a note speaking of both acceptance and doubt. "If you don't come to the dining room, I'll bring you something here."

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He hadn't mentioned it would be a family dinner. I sat ramrod straight, terrified of moving because Kym's hair flowed and flicked too close. My hands stayed on my lap, hidden under the edge of the table. They wouldn't stop shaking.

"Kym, dear, can you pass me the butter?" Amphitrite asked.

"Here."

"Are you going to eat?" I jumped at the question, but it wasn't aimed at me. Triton prodded at Athena, who leaned against him with her eyes half closed. She grumbled and curled into his side.

"Put her to bed, Triton," said Dad as he waved his fork. "She can eat when she's not going to pass out in her food." His eyes flicked to me and he opened his mouth--- I shoved a piece of bread towards the back of my mouth, and carefully chewed it.  Silenced, Dad accepted a clumsy hug from Athena, along with a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Grandfather," she said, and then Triton ushered her out.

Silence. I stared at my untouched plate. Which wasn't right because I'd pulled a piece off the bread. It had hurt as I chewed it, sharp searing pain through my teeth. It was bland in that way bread was. It was the first thing I went for, the first thing I used to get Dad's attention off me.

Did-- Did I not eat it?

No, I had to have eaten it. The aftertaste was still in my mouth, and I wouldn't imagine that. Wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't. I shouldn't imagine that type of thing. But the bread was there and it was whole and I thought I ate some of it.

It felt like tiny ants were crawling over me, thousands of tiny legs brushing over my skin and along the curve of my neck. They itched, shifted to grasping fingers tipped with claws. Razor points drew over my flesh, but refused me any actual pain. Phantom pains, memories, that's all.

My eyes flitted to the knife beside my plate. I picked it up.

The sharp edge glimmered, a razor of light balanced on the blade. I swallowed, turned it over. Why did it have to be dinner?

Lowering the knife and applying pressure, I cut through muscle and fat. Over and over again, I'd chose a new angle. Dad was talking to Amphitrite. Triton hadn't come back. Neither Amphitrite or Kym would care enough to stop me. No, they wouldn't even question it. I gently pressed the knife down, watching as it punctured. Why should they? Why should anyone?

If Dad doesn't want me, then why should it matter?

"Stop playing with your food, little one."

I sat the knife down. "Are you sure this won't make me burst into flames?" The tiny chunks of meat had just a hint of pink in it, and the potatoes were basted with butter and herbs and garlic. A far cry from lemon bars.

"Eat."

Cinnamon mingled with the juiciness of the beef and the spiciness of pepper. My next bite was potato so soft it almost melted, and I scarfed those down. They must've been stewed together, or the potatoes cooked in the broth. In less than five minutes, I'd cleared my plate.

With warmth in my belly, I slouched, sipping on freshwater that was cool enough to relieve the ache in my mouth, but warm enough not to hurt in its own way. I slid my eyes around the room, watching.

Dad talked with Amphitrite, something in a language I didn't understand. Forks and knives scraped against ceramic, in the same tone as chalk being dragged against a blackboard. Triton slipped back in, took away Athena's food, then sat down. He eyed my plate.

"Do you want any more?" he asked. I shook my head, but he still moved some of the potatoes from his to mine. I quickly ate them.

The water around the table and around Kym, seemed to pulse, pressing against my awareness. It was a drumbeat in a parade, deep, shaking, echoing. My nails dug into my arms.  Eyes drilled into me, Dad's or Triton's I didn't know. Hands shaking, I picked at my jeans. Every so often, I pinched skin.

How much longer would it be until they'd be done? I didn't want to ask to be excused, and there wasn't a guarantee he'd let me slip away. No, he wouldn't. He's upset with me, and he's a god, and gods punish the people that upset them. More thoughts, worse thoughts, swirled in my head.

Split into parts because I have about a thousand words of this and a lot of other stuff and i wanted to get at least one chapter up before you know, its been forever

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, leave a comment or a like and I will pat my cat

Im not above bribery

See yah