Why is Everything so Loud?! (Fem. Percy)

Grover is a Good Friend

Grover sat on the floor, fingers messing with his fur. I sighed and tossed him a cloth. He nodded his thanks and started buffing  his hooves. Neither of us said a word. Neither of us needed to. There was enough emotion flowing through the empathy link to keep any attempts at conversation locked inside. Grover was worried and I was anxious. Not exactly like everything was Apollo and Irises.

I laid back and stared at the bunk above me. Why did I tell him? He's my best friend, but that doesn't mean anything. So was Annabeth, and I let her die. I have no right to be comforted, nor to seek comfort. Heroes deserve that, and I'm not a hero. I'm not entirely sure I'm still human. I bleed red yes, but what if I have to die as a mortal to become a monster? Is that even possible, for a demigod free of curses to become one?

I didn't know, but if any god had children who could, it would be Dad. With Antaeus, Procrustes, Chrysaor, all of the cyclops, and all of the other monsters he had sired, how hard would it be for me to embrace the dark aspects of the sea? How hard would it to be called Sea Spawn not by monsters, but by heroes?

How hard would it be to turn on the people I call friends? 

"Are you going to tell me what you meant by you didn't save them?" Grover asked.

"I could've saved them, and I didn't."

"Specifics please?"

"How mad would Juniper be if I cuddled with you?"

Grover sighed. "That doesn't answer my question, but not very. She knows how important you are to me, and that I don't have any romantic feelings towards you. Move over." Grover crawled onto my bed and curled as close to me as possible. It took a bit of maneuvering, and me getting kicked in the shins, but we managed to get comfortable. It almost reminded me of our time in Yancy. A girl and a boy sharing a room because everywhere else was full and everyone couldn't care less about the two of us.

Grover's fingers messed with my hair. I held my hands close to my chest. We went back to our silence. With every breath, I relaxed a little bit more. Despite all of the years we've spent fighting, despite all of the years full of change, Grover smells the same as he did when I was twelve. A scent odd for a fourteen year old mortal, pine, flowers, and grass makes a fitting smell for a satyr. 

For that hour, it was almost like nothing mattered. Grover wasn't avoiding me, he was letting me cuddle against him when I asked, more than I could say for my dad. He was warm, and I didn't mind it when he draped an arm over me.

"You know you can tell me if something's wrong, right?"

"I know."

"Well, if you don't want to talk, I can't make you."

"Play 'Born to Be Wild' and you might just."

"I'm serious, Perce."

"So am I." I smiled. It fell and I shook my head. "I just don't want you to start acting like Dad did. He found out something I'd rather he didn't and he...he's just-" I sighed. "Insufferable."

"At the risk of being killed," Grover said. "That's kinda what gods do."

I sat up and slid off my bed. "Not like this." I ran my hands through my hair, over and over again. The silky strands ran through my fingers without tangling. "Grover, I asked him to leave me alone and he went and tried to tell Mom. He tried to tell Chiron and Mr D and I know he told Wise Girl's mom. There are some things you don't go around and share with other people, with other gods. This is one of them. If I told you what I told him, you wouldn't do that. I know you wouldn't. But when three people know a secret, it's not a secret anymore. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to include me in that too, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I want to trust you but I can't- I couldn't deal with it if you started acting like Dad."

Grover got up and walked over to me, his hooves clicking against the hard floor. He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Listen to me. I told you, I'm not going to force you to talk to me. It's your choice on whether you want to or not. If you don't want to, that's okay. Just know that I'm here for you when you want to. We're best friends." He leaned his head down, letting me bump mine against his. "If things ever get really bad, promise you'll talk to someone?"

"I'll think about it. Now come on G-Man, Juniper's probably looking for you. Tell her I said hi." Without hesitation I shoved him out the door and closed it behind him. I couldn't. I couldn't promise him that. Talking to someone means telling them. And I'm not talking to Dad. No way in Hades is that happening. He'd just treat me like I'm made of glass, breakable and fragile. I can't talk to Mom either. Not only did Dad's little stunt make me not want to tell her, she could only be worse than Dad. He's thousands of years old and has seen countless children die brutal deaths. If he's this upset about what I do, then how would she act?

I sighed and slid down the door. I can't let her find out. She can't find out.

School's starting up soon, so is there anything you want to see?

Anything you think will happen?

I'm gonna work on some other things.

See yah