Why is Everything so Loud?! (Fem. Percy)

So Much Softness

The lights were blurry. Everything was blurry. No matter what I looked at, it was hazy and globby. My hands were moved. They were placed by my sides. Then one was pulled away. Poked at. Prodded at. An argument scraped and tore at my ears.

My head tilted towards the blob that was Dad. Shaky fingers---mine?--- brushed his shirt.

"I'm not leaving." His tone was final.

 "Water would-"

 "No." Movement. Black swished. The motion made my stomach flip. "Not unless it's absolutely necessary." He laced our fingers together. He pulled my hand to his lips. "She'll panic. Do what you need to."

Hands, hands, hands. They pinched and pulled at my skin. They jabbed and poked. My grip barely tightened around Dad's. It was almost enough. Don't panic. He didn't want me to. Don't make him mad. The pinch in my arm grew worse, and pressure felt like it was going to burst my arm open.

A heavy wool blanket pressed down on me. It pressed on my limbs and my head and ears. My eyes shut. My grip loosened. The pressure went away. Slowly. But it went away. Silence.

Screams tore my throat. Metal clattered. My head was pressed down. I was held down. Hand on my head. Hand on my chest. Hands, hands, hands. Didn't like them.

"She's still awake. She- She shouldn't still be awake."

Fingers brushed wetness away. My eyes opened. Daddy bent over me, and he cupped my cheek. "I'm going to help you go to sleep okay? I'm going to count to three, and then you're going to fall asleep." A moment. Shaky breathing. A whine. Mine? He slowly counted down.

* * *

Daddy was leaning on the edge of the bed when I woke up, his arms over each other, chin resting on them. He had gray in his hair. "Hi," he whispered. I kept looking at him. He didn't move. "Are you woozy?" I nodded. My hand fluttered against the bed.

I wanted to stick my thumb in my mouth. But Mommy gets upset when I do that. But he doesn't like it when I bite myself. Dumb. It doesn't hurt. Sucking my thumb was good. Mommy's not here. She won't know, and Daddy won't be mad at me for biting myself.

He smiled at me, soft and warm. He didn't yell. "Here." He pressed a stuffed kitty against my side. I ran my fingers through its brown fur. Soft. I mouthed the word. It buzzed, so I did it again against the kitty. The fur tickled my lips. I kissed its nose.

"Get some more sleep if you want." He stood and squeezed my hand and walked to the door. "I'm going to see if you can go back to your room or not."

Sleeping didn't sound good. I didn't know why. It just didn't. It made my chest squeeze. My teeth gently--super gently-- dug into my thumb. Some of the pinching went away.

I squeezed my eyes shut. He wants me to sleep. I should. It's nice when he's happy. He would be so warm, and he'd hug me. Yeah. I could sleep. Just to make him happy.  But just before I could, a hand brushed my forehead. My eyes stayed closed. Even if I wasn't---Even if I wasn't sleeping, he'd still be happy if he thought I was.

Daddy sighed. The bed creaked. I slid. Hot breath hit my head, and drops of water fell onto my skin in a steady drip.

"I love you," he whispered like a secret. "And I'm never going to let you get hurt like this again." He choked. "Daddy's going to keep you safe, okay?"

I hummed happily, and he froze.

"Are you awake?" He didn't let me answer before helping me sit up, one hand on my back like Mommy. Though she only does that when I'm sick, and I don't feel sick. Just...not right. Woozy, Daddy said. Wooozy. That sounded right.