Why is Everything so Loud?! (Fem. Percy)

No Pain, Only Numbness

Everything was cold. So very cold. It seeped into my fingers and sat under my skin, and the blood matting my clothes only made it worse. My alarm clock and the darkness outside my windows told me the same thing. I'd probably be dead long before anyone came to check on me. 

That would be so much better for everyone. No one would ever get hurt by me again. No one would- My hands pulled at my hair as I whimpered. No pain came of it. No pain at all, only the cold. Blood streamed down my arms, joining the slowly spreading pool beneath me. My limbs shook with effort, but I pushed myself to my feet. I swayed and the room swam. I stepped and stumbled to my dresser. Falling, I nearly missed catching myself on my bed-frame. If I fell, that was it. Game over. I wouldn't get a do over. The topmost drawer stuck. Push in, then pull it. Shiny drachmas rested atop my socks; my hand hovered over them.

If I didn't get help, I knew what would happen. I knew I would die, yet some part of me...Part of me wanted everything to end, for all the pain and all the numbness to finally go away once and for all. 

Red spots bloomed on my socks. My hand closed around the metal. I didn't know if it would work. There wasn't a rainbow, but I couldn't make one if I tried. The drachma whizzed through the air landing with a plunk in the fountain. I could barely choke out my request. It was getting harder to stand and my hold on the dresser was slipping. I fell down. My hands flew down to catch me, and all the succeeded in was jarring my wrist. 

"Percy?" said Dad, voice floating up from the water. 

"I- I need help."

In an instant, far faster than I thought he would, Dad appeared. He looked around frantically, eyes roaming the cabin. Even in the darkness, I could see him tense at the sight of the blood. "Percy?" His voice wavered. 

"Here."

Dad walked over. The thin veil of relief he had carried at hearing my voice was quickly destroyed. "Fuck."  He grabbed me under my arms and scooped me up and then we were gone. Water closed around me lifting the blood from my skin and shaking it loose from my hair. Eyes widened in terror, I struggled against Dad. Every nerve in my body screamed that this was bad, that I needed away. Because it wasn't just a want, it was a need. 

"I know, I know," Dad hushed. Without warning, he dumped me on a bed. Water tightened around my arms. Curses and blessings and everything in between left Dad's lips as he waited with bated breath for the water to stitch my skin back together. The bleeding slowed and then stopped.  Dad sobbed and pulled me towards him. His arms wrapped around me and then a pocket of air around the both of us. I pressed my head to his shoulder and grasped at his shirt. 

His hands trembled as he pulled his fingers through my hair. "I've got you. I've got you." Over and over he repeated it, slipping into Greek and then further still into Atlantean. Over and over those words played on repeat. After some time, and however much time it was I really didn't know, he pulled away. His hands cupped my face, forcing me to stare up at him as he searched my expression for something. Whatever it was, he didn't find it. His hands dropped, letting me return my head to his shoulder. An arm settled over my back, and he sighed. "Did- Did you try to kill yourself?" That arm around me tightened, making me all to aware that he thought he already knew the answer. He was just waiting for me to say yes.

I shook my head. "I-" I swallowed. "I-" 

"Sh, take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

"I wasn't trying to, but I- I thought about it."

My admittance hung in the air. Judgement washed over me in the ensuing silence. Dad stared at me, eyes wide. He blinked, muttered "Fuck," and then curled himself around me.  "Baby...My baby actually-" Dad pressed a long kiss to the side of my head. And then he froze. "Percy, why are there wounds on your legs? And on-" His grip tightened. "You lied to me."

The tremors shaking my body had to be obvious. As tight as he was holding me, it would be impossible to miss them. He's going to yell. Or disown me. Or- Or something. The something would be the worst. The other two I could at least predict. There was nothing to go off of for something.

Dad pulled me away from him. He placed a hand on my head to keep me in place as he moved away. No surprise there. Probably didn't- Gently, he pulled me down so my head rested on his leg. Surprised eyes stared up at him, even if he didn't notice. He ran his fingers through my hair, and finally he looked at me. 

A sad smile on his lips, he covered me with a summoned blanket. "You're alright," he said. "I've got you." I didn't fight as he moved me to lay with my head on the pillows near the headboard or as with a flick of his wrist I was in clean clothes, nor did I fight him when he sat beside me on the bed, just brushing his hand over my forehead and hair. "Get some sleep. We can talk about this in the morning."

I didn't want to talk about it. But there was no choice for me in this matter. "Are you staying?"

"I'll be right here." He kissed my forehead. "Go to sleep, Percy. I've got you, and I'll be damned if I let anything happen." I couldn't help the laugh that slipped out. "I'm serious."

"I know, Dad."

Chapter done, along with half of like four other chapters. 

Hope you liked it. Hope you didn't relate to it, but also I am very worn out but must right more chapters so i can have some done in advance for once. 

See yah