DISTRACTION | Spencer Reid Fanfic

32

"What is the matter with you?" Penelope paused as she scuttled past my chair. She must have seen my leg bouncing up and down.

I slowly spun around in my chair. "I feel like someone I ca... ummm... I know is hiding something from me."

Penelope narrowed her eyes. "Is it Emily? I feel like Emily is hiding something?"

"What? No. Wait. What do you think Emily is hiding?" I began scanning through my memory.

"Who are YOU talking about?" Pen was trying to decipher my face.

"Just someone." I shrugged. "What do I do? Do I keep asking? Do I let it go? If I don't ask does it look like I don't care?"

She pursed her lips. "You should be direct."

"You think?"

Penelope perched on my desk. "Reid, you are a chronic over thinker. You won't be able to not think about it. So would it not make sense for you to just get a head of all that and stop your own torment."

"Oh... yeah. I guess I hadn't thought about it like that." The door opened and a beam of the evening sunset shone in through blinding me. I sunk down in my seat and plunged my head into my hands. The shooting pain began firing in my temples again. I pushed back my chair and stormed out leaving Penelope confused.

I held my head in my hand as the elevator dinged slowly as it descended floor by floor. A combination of the horrid elevator lighting, the mechanical rattle and the constant rush of voices in my head.

"Still have the headaches Dr Reid?" The FBI therapist, Dr Holloway, flipped through her files as she filed into elevator.

"Is it that obvious?" I groaned, blinking to adjust my eyes to the light. Dr Holloway was the only one who knew that I was concerned that this might be the schizophrenic break that I had been afraid of. I was kicking myself thinking that the drug use had triggered it's onset.

"Just a little. I'm still confused none the less. All your reports are clear." She tapped her finger on the file. "I might have someone who can help maybe. Let me find out and get back to you."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks." I was happy to try anything.

"Get some air Dr Reid. It might help temporarily."

"Yeah." I waved goodbye to her as she got out of the elevator.

I waited as patiently as I could until the elevator opened up in the parking lot. During the day, the parking lot was abandoned. I was able to clear my mind while the light breeze of the day tunnelled through. I slid down onto the ground sat on the cold concrete.

"Reid?" Hotch's voice bounced off each concrete pillar. He stood in the centre of the parking lot, slowly turning in search of me.

"Over here."

Hotch spun on his heels, his eyebrows furrowing when he saw me sat on the ground, knees up close to my chest. His audible footsteps crept closer, until he crouched down beside me. "Garcia expressed some concern to me. And I would be lying if I told that I wasn't worried too." He disapproved as I pouted. "How are your sessions with Dr Holloway?"

"Fine," I muttered.

His frown deepened. He crouched down in front of me. He stared my down. The he sighed. "Go home Reid. We need you rested. Don't worry about the paperwork, we'll handle it."

"But...but... what if we get a..."

"A case," he finished. "If we need you, we will call you. Anderson will take you home."

I clambered to my feet.

"Oh and Reid," Hotch stood up too. "Do whatever you need to do to be you again."

I attempted to smile as I dragged my feet away to wear Anderson was holding open the door to the SUV.

What I needed; I couldn't have. Not without giving in. Besides if I'm on Dilaudid as that even really me?