DISTRACTION | Spencer Reid Fanfic

21

Why wasn't she answering?

After she left, I waited for her to reach out. She normally would. I know that she could see that I was barely hanging onto my sobriety even before she left. That's why she couldn't really look at me. She felt bad for leaving.

Maybe I had read it all wrong.

If she felt so bad. Where was the call? Where was the message? I hadn't heard a peep from her all weekend. At first, I had thought that two could play that game when she didn't call that night. Y/n would normally call me at night, knowing that I found it hard to sleep and would usually stay on the call until I fall asleep. I had asked how she knew I was asleep and not just quiet. She had snorted at me, detailing every oscillation of my snores. I didn't know that I snored. She assured me that they were soft and that she thought they were cute. But that night my phone taunted me. There was radio silence. I waited all night. There was nothing. Somehow, I had managed to fall asleep, risking a crick in my neck from the armchair I had lodged myself on.

I trudged around my apartment the following morning, disheartened more as I scrambled to check my phone, finding nothing from Y/n.

I couldn't leave my apartment even if I had wanted to. I knew I would break. My patience was wearing thin, and my jitters were sky rocketing. I jabbed my finger at my screen, giving in and calling Y/n. I had thought that she was just playing a game with me. She joked about my desire for control. She loved to resist. But when she didn't respond that whole day, I began to worry. Surely, she wouldn't take it this far. She knew I would be in turmoil. But she wasn't picking up. The call would just ring through to voicemail every time.

I needed her. I needed to touch her. But I knew I couldn't do that. So I was happy to settle and just hear her voice.

But she wasn't answering the god damn phone. Where was she? Why was it such a secret?

My mind began running wild. It just made the migraines worse. I hadn't told anyone. Not even Y/n, but at least 20 hours out of the day I felt like my head was ready to explode. I want to curl up in a dark room. The smallest of sounds irritate my ears. The tiniest sliver of light made me dizzy.

I just needed something to make it go away. I couldn't sit still. I opened and closed my book too many times to count.

I was too weak. But know it came down to what was my greater weakness.

My feet pounded the pavement as I escaped the suffocating enclosure of my apartment.

There was a chill out tonight, goosebumps prickled my arm. I hadn't a clue where I was headed.

Ducking in and out of the late night crowds the fever that was taking over my body worsened. I needed it know. But where was I going to get Dilaudid at this hour. My old dealer from the hospital had grown a conscious. Or I suppose it was more like Y/n has scared the life out of him. She was quite imposing when she tried. Apparently, he was two years ahead of her at med school. He wasn't going to want to jeopardise hie career over a couple of vials. And it was rare to get the good stuff on the street. And going down the heroine route was going to be too risky.

I shuffled into a bar. I needed to think this all through. I needed a better plan. I walked around the edge then muscled my way towards the bar. I was just reaching the front when a young woman, giddily spun around, tipping her drink down my shirt.

"Oh shit, sorry." She gingerly patted my soaking shirt. As if that would help at all.

"It's fine," I looked down as my shirt transitioned from opaque to transparent. I stepped around her slumping down on the bar and signalling the drink I wanted to the bartender. The woman was still hot on my heels.

"I'm really sorry, let me get your drink." She faffed around for her cash.

The rustling was getting to me. "I said it was fine," I grabbed her wrist just begging for her to stop the racquet. I finally looked up and saw in her eyes exactly what I needed.

Someone who would cherish every linger of my touch.