𝐑𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐞 | 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐳𝐨𝐮 ✓

17

TW: explicit and suicidal content

1st POV

My chest hurts.

The pain in my chest doesn't come by and go because it's my own doing. the aching feeling has been staying with me ever since my parents had left me and i don't like it. not one bit.

Every time i grasp my chest and calm my nerves down, somehow the pain just increases. every time i think about my mother's smile or my father's laughter, i suddenly feel lost. i want to see and hear it again. i want to be in their warm embrace again.

During those beautiful days, i've always dreamt what it was like to be with my parents if they had stayed with me and my older siblings. would we grow old together? would my parents finally watch one of us walk down to our significant other? would our parents finally get to be grandparents and see their little family grow into a big one?

That never happened.

It was all dream. the fake reality we wanted actually turned dark, letting the curse spread until our beating heart can't breathe anymore.

I don't know what my siblings are feeling or thinking right now, but when our parents had left the world, we were the only ones left. other clans looked down upon us, thinking that three young people are now useless since the adults have gone by.

Thankfully my older brother was there. without him, me and my sister would've been goners. although he sacrificed so much for us, i still want to be there for him. i don't want to leave my brother and sister because they are the only ones i had left, but that sounds selfish of me.

My older sibling had done everything they can to protect our clan while i stand by and just watch. my own self can't do anything because i can't understand how to properly work the politics of the Tenryou Commission.

Foolish of me. i know.

Making myself a burden to the point i want to end it. leave this world so my siblings don't have to worry about me. making their life easier.

But i'm selfish. i want to stay with them because i don't want to be alone. not now, not ever.

Why?

Because i'm scared. i'm afraid that once i leave them, i'll be stuck in an endless dark hole that can only eat me alive. this makes me hate being weak. compared to me and my siblings, i am the weakest. whether it be physically or mentally.

The only thing that can save me is no one because i know that most people of Inazuma cares about my siblings. the prince and princess of the Kamisato clan.

Thinking i will be alone forever, i suddenly met the him. the "him" was the one that had caught me before i fell into the depths of insanity. he was the one that had brought my broken heart into one again.