Wizardly

Chapter Thirty-Six: Confidant

Once at the Dining hall I took a deep breath and tried to push all of my worries away. I really don't need the others asking me a ton of questions like Captain had. They don't need to worry about me right now, just like I shouldn't be worrying either. We all have to focus.

I headed inside the Dining Hall and grabbed some food before rejoining with the others at our table like we do at every meal. Everyone seemed like they were doing okay with their own training and Amber seemed to be keeping up with her tunnel duties as well. Everything is going way too smoothly, they're going to attack us soon I just know it.

"By the way, Tyrian, I heard my Guild Master talked to you earlier. I hope he didn't cause you too much grief. He can be tough to convince so I hope he wasn't too hard on you," Nash said.

"I was too busy with training so I don't know what he talked about with Captain, but he watched me train for a while and then left at some point," I said plainly, not really wanting to get into all the details of what happened. That was basically the short version. I'm not hiding anything from them it's just that the rest isn't really important and not worth mentioning.

Diana joined us and actually had a bandage on her head. Of course everyone asked if she was okay and asked how she got hurt.

"It's nothing, I'm fine. I just got beat in a training match. Tyrian got a good hit in and I face planted a tree," she said and laughed lightly.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. I - Uh -" I fumbled and rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. She cut me off with another laugh.

"I told you I'm fine. Don't feel bad, you did good. It's called training for a reason. Things happen sometimes. I let my guard down and you didn't waste it," she rambled. I sighed, I know she's right, but I still feel bad about hurting a friend.

Dustin sighed as well and smacked me on the back of my head. I swore at him and complained that that had really hurt.

"You're great at fighting, but your such a wimp. Are you feeling bad because she's a girl? Or maybe you feel bad because she's your friend? If it had been Master or me would you feel as bad? I doubt that, just get over it. If a training match gets you that guilty then maybe you shouldn't fight. I mean how are you going to kill or fight if you're so soft?" Dustin grumbled. I just stared at him for a minute and then I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped.

"Well now, I didn't realize that you cared so much," I teased and then after a moment I got serious again. "But, you're right. Thanks for that," I added. I do still feel bad, after all I want to protect my friends not hurt them. However, I do need to man up and take training seriously - no matter who my opponent may be - or I won't be any use at all.

He just nodded in response and started stuffing his face. I sighed and started eating as well. I never would have imagined I'd be thanking Dustin for anything other than putting me in the hospital, but I needed that kick in the ass just now.

Everyone else talked and I just listened to them. I still feel kind of out of place even now, I mean I don't have anything exciting or powers or anything to talk about. It's great they're all getting along and even became friends, but a small part of me hates it. They all have so much in common and I feel like I'm in the way sometimes.

"I'm going to head to training early, I'll see you all later," I mumbled and got up without another word. After throwing my trash out and returning my tray I left and headed for the roof. Am I really terrible for thinking that way? I mean I know they're my friends, but still I can't help what I feel deep down.

"I figured you'd be here. There's something on your mind isn't there?" Lilliana said as she came up behind me. I started to say I was fine and that it was nothing, but she stopped me before the lie fully came out of my mouth.

"Don't - Don't you dare lie to me about anything. If there is something bothering you just say so. You can't keep holding things in all the time, it's not good for your health. You have so many people that care about you, I care about you, Dummy," she said and threw herself into my arms. We fell and I sighed wrapping my arms around her.

"Sorry, it's just - I'm still not used to talking about my emotions yet, and I'm sorry I've made you worry. It's just, even after everything I - I still feel like an outsider sometimes. I'm too weird and strong for normal people to accept me and yet I don't fit in with the magic users either. I just don't know where I am supposed to be," I said laying it all out to her.

"Don't think about everything else. All you need to focus on right now is that you belong with me and your friends. Everything else will work itself out eventually," she said. I could feel her tears dampening my shirt and I couldn't figure out why she was crying. This was my burden so why is she the one crying? Well I might as well tell her everything at this point.

"I - I think my real parents died in that war that your parents died in. I think my parents adopted me after that. It's just something my mom said at the hospital before she died that made me wonder if I was adopted and after your Uncle told me what happened it sounded oddly familiar somehow. I planned to ask Captain if he knew anything about it once the fighting was over.

I passed out during training earlier when I was facing off with Diana. I think I remembered something and it may have caused it. I can't exactly explain it. I don't remember who that man was, but it was definitely an old memory. His advice just came to me out of nowhere and I think it may have been a shock to my system. If it's that old of a memory, who would be instructing a child on how to fight? I just don't understand it. To that matter why would I block those memories out, did something happen that was so terrible that just remembering my past causes me to shut down?

Since I don't really understand it I didn't tell anyone else about it, not until I can figure it out. I'm sorry for rambling, but you did say I could be honest with you. That all said there is two more things weighing on me," I said and she looked up at me. She tightened her grip on my shirt and nodded for me to continue. She's not laughing at me or trying to stop me at all. She honestly cares about what I have to say.

"It's about Master, I - I found out he's sick and no one seems to know why. He's losing the use of one of his arms and noone knows how bad it might get or what is causing it. I'm worried about him fighting, but I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone so my hands are kind of tied. He would never listen to me or my concerns.

The last thing is more of a question than a confession. Out of everyone here how did I get so lucky? Why me?" I asked and rest my forehead on hers.

"That's a lot to take in. I never really expected you to be that honest with me. After all you don't like to talk about yourself, but I hope you'll be okay in the fight. After all if what you say is true then what if this fight brings those memories back and you freeze up or pass out during a fight? You could get seriously hurt or even die," she mumbled and ran her fingers gently through my hair.

"I don't think that will happen, but I will withdraw from the fight if I think that is a possibility, I promise I'll be careful," I mumbled back.

"You'd better, if I lost you now after everything I don't know what I'd do. I'm honestly not sure what originally drew me to you,  but I can say that I lovee everything about you. Your quiet, mysterious side, Your serious and honest side, and Your brave stubborn side too," she said.

"Hmm, I love that you're caring to everyone around you, how much you try for the sake of others, and how strict and serious you are when the need arises. You keep everyone grounded, by knowing exactly what to say. Thank you for listening to my ramblings and for giving me a chance," I mumbled and gently pulled her into a kiss. She gently kissed me back.

After a few moments of kisses I pulled away and swore. I have to get to training. I'm going to be late if I don't go, but yet I don't want this moment to end. She smiled at me and pulled away.

"I know, you have to go. You've got work to do right?" She said calmly. I'm glad she isn't mad, but I still wish I didn't have to go. "Go on, Dummy, Uncle won't like it if your late," she added. I sighed, nodded and got up. I helped her up as well before I headed out.