drowning

11

"You need rest." I told her quietly as I watched her fight her medicines, having already talked about everything that happened and everything she saw to try to get it all out of her mind so that she didn't have nightmares.

She shook her head slowly.

A nurse had braided her hair for her, she was wearing one of my extra shirts and attached to my hip, never wanting me to leave her.

"I'll stay with you." I told her carefully, seeing her look to me.

"You don't have to." She told me firmly.

"I want to." I told her back, watching her exhale.

I watched as she moved to lay down, myself turning on the tv in the room for some sound, other than her monitors beeping.

"Why do you think he did it?" She spoke after a moment, making me look to her.

"Like- we were okay." She spoke,

"We weren't perfect, and i know he struggled more sometimes than others, but what do you think was his breaking point? Do you think it was me?" She asked me.

"No." I told her firmly.

"If we're being honest, I think it was something to do with school." I told her, knowing his football coach had texted her saying he left early and he said nothing else to her before committing suicide.

"I knew he wasn't ready." She spoke.

That's my fault.
I encouraged it, knowing how badly he wanted to go back so that he could play football, it's all he ever wanted to talk about in our meetings.

"I'm sorry Ava-" "I'm not blaming you." She immediately told me, making eye contact with me.

"I'm not at all, I promise." Her voice was soft, almost showing some emotion.

"I just wish he would've talked to me."

After continuing to talk to her for several more minutes, I noticed her eyes dropping, telling me that the fight to stay awake from the medicine was getting harder.

So I stopped talking, noticing that she didn't even notice before her eyes shut completely, not opening again.

I woke up to her monitor flatlining

I shot up- panicking but immediately seeing her standing, looking to me with her eyes wide.

"Sorry" she whispered before continuing to put her shoes on.

"Where are you going?" I asked her, still startled, but wide awake as I cut her monitor off, noticing that she had taken the electrodes off herself.

"Home" she spoke swiftly.

"You aren't discharged." I told her firmly.

"Yeah, but I just remembered the blood and that's going to stain so I need to go clean it," she spoke.

"Ava" I spoke, grabbing her hand, making her look to me.

She looked so calm and collected.

"It's four in the morning-" "yeah, I don't sleep much, I told you that." She spoke.

"Why don't you just rest then- your heart was out under a lot of strain yesterday, you need to rest, you need to give your mind and body some rest." She blinked towards me slowly.

"I will" she nodded

"After I get the stains out"