drowning

19

Ava

To say the least, the day of the funeral was absolutely horrible.

I woke up to a surprise visit from my period, so I was already a moody and in pain mess.
Ashton was more than supportive, offering to do anything that he thought would make the day a little better than what we both knew it was going to be.

Once we were at the funeral home, it went pretty smoothly.

I had to watch his entire football teammates say goodbye to someone they considered their friend.

At the young age of fifteen.

One that I recognized came up to me slowly.

"I'm Keegan, i was friends with your brother, we had a few slumber parties at you house-" "I remember you," I told him calmly, seeing him fighting tears, but clearly not trying to cry in front of his teammates.

Why did the world make boys crying into such a bad thing?
These babies should be able to show their emotions, regardless of their sex.

"I just wanted to let you know that he was so loved and I'm not sure why he did it, but I'm so sorry." He choked out, a single tear falling down his cheek.

I pulled him into a tight hug, feeling him immediately hug me back.

"Do not apologize." I told him calmly.

"You could not have done anything to impact his decision." I quoted something Ashton had told me that had made me feel better.

"You were a very good friend to him and I am so sorry that you lost your friend at such a young age." I told him slowly, watching him wipe his tears quickly.

After a few more hugs and deep talks with people, a pastor said a few prayers over him before we all followed to the graveyard, where he would be laid right next to my little sister.

I exhaled deeply, feeling Ashton gently rubbing my back as they said another prayer, everyone taking a few moments before everyone was in a way- silently dismissed.

I was told goodbye by several people, soon leaving just me and Ashton.

We both sat, looking to the wide hole in the ground, my brothers casket deep in it.

"I don't need to cry." I told Ashton, watching him look to me slowly.

"Do you want to-" "not really."

Ashton.

I stared to her, trying to read what she was trying to tell me.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say" I heard her hum out.

"I mean- do you want a private moment? To talk to him?" I asked slowly, seeing her immediately shake her head.

"He's not in that body." She told me calmly.

I kept looking to her

"I can't feel him" she hummed.

"What do you mean?" I asked her slowly.

"Like- how you can feel peoples presences when they're around." She explained, but I had no clue what feeling she was referring to.

"Like I could always just feel him and know he was safe and here" she hummed.

"And when I walked into Eve's room that day- I couldn't feel him" she spoke quietly

"He was there, but yet- he wasn't."

"Have you ever talked to someone about, maybe being psychic?" I spoke slowly, seeing her look to me- a firm smile on her mouth as she did.

"I told talk to dead people" she laughed lightly

"No- I wasn't saying that, but what you're describing- not everyone can do that." I mumbled to her, seeing that she was finding it quite comical.

"I think that maybe, I was just really close to my family." She told me as she laughed.

"So you don't ever feel people that have passed?" I asked her slowly.

"Well not yet" she mumbled, concern written on her face

"I kinda hope I don't, because that would probably scare the shit out of me."