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mooooom Phineas and Ferb are creating a drug empire again

Over the past few days, Ranboo was slowly recalling bits and pieces of the memories he had lost. Most of the memories weren't bad. They were just him walking around, carrying dirt blocks and placing them. Doing that had relaxed him. There were times when he went mining or hunting for food. He remembered meeting up with Dream, giving him all of the valuables that he had mined. He remembered crafting TnT for the man; what he used it for, he didn't know. He remembered when he first attacked Technoblade.

What Ranboo thought was the worst memory was holding Tommy down as he struggled and screamed for help. When he bent his wings too far back and broke them, allowing Dream to cut them off. He could remember all of those orders that Dream had given him, that he carried out without a second thought. Completely mindless. Even now, after Dream had died, it still felt like his body was not his own.

Every time that memory played in his head, he would feel a wave of nausea. In the times he wasn't alone in the house, Niki would kneel down next to him and gently rub his back while he heaved all of his stomach into a bucket or a toilet, whatever was closer. Once he was done, Niki would drag him over to the couch and wrap a blanket around him, then she would go to the kitchen where she would come back with a bowl of warm soup.

Ranboo couldn't understand why everyone was so kind to him. They knew he helped Dream. He was sure if they were there to see all that he had done, they wouldn't treat him with the same kindness. A part of him would appreciate it, another part of him screamed for mistreatment, because there was no way he deserved such kindness. He had told Niki just this.

"Well, I know you're not a bad guy. I know you are very kind and the fact that you feel so much guilt shows it. I knew you before coming to L'manburg, before any of this happened. I know the real you, the you that was not controlled by Dream. What you did was out of your control and you wouldn't have done it if you had a say in it."

Ranboo glanced down at the bowl of soup in his hands and buried himself further into the blankets. He lifted the bowl to his lips and tilted it back, drinking down some of the liquid. It had left a comforting feeling in his throat after throwing up. It seemed to ease his stomach a little bit as well. He glanced at Niki who smiled at him. She was right, he knew he was right, but that did nothing to erase the guilt he still felt. He knew he wasn't able to do anything to stop himself. That his body and mind had been his own prison.

"After you finish eating, why don't we go farming? I have to harvest wheat, collect eggs, and milk for baking. Once we are done baking, we can go around and deliver the pastries to everyone else."

Ranboo gave a weak smile. It would probably do him some good to go out and do something, instead of staying inside alone with his own thoughts. He really should do something to take his mind off things. Maybe carry around some dirt and displace them. That sounded comforting. So, he nodded in agreement to Niki's offer. Her pleased response relieved some of his nerves. He sighed and continued to drink down the soup.

"Thank you for the soup, it was very good." He handed Niki the bowl.

"Of course." She took it with a smile and carried the bowl to the sink.

As Ranboo watched Niki go back to the kitchen, he pushed the blanket off of himself and stood up from the couch. He had hunched over a bit, never liking being too imposing or taking up too much space. He never liked drawing attention to himself, but it had always been hard because of his appearance. He waited by the door while Niki put on her shoes and ushered him out of the house. She had a soft smile as he stepped out into the sunlight.

"We're going to meet up with Eret and Tubbo today. They said they would help us make a cow and chicken farm."

As he stepped out, he looked around and noticed they were next to the water. He then wondered if he would be staying here. He never stayed in a single place for long, but he never made lasting connections before because of Dream. But now that he was here, he did have a few connections, Niki and Technoblade. He wasn't sure if Technoblade would be staying, because he was a traveler. He still had to make it up to Technoblade, but after everything that had happened, he had a lot of people to make it up to. So, Ranboo supposed he would be staying until his debts have been repaid until everyone has forgiven him... until he has forgiven himself.