Hold My Heart // Byler

002

* Will's POV*

As me, mom, Jonathan, and El got into the car and headed to Hawkins, I couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible would happen between me and Mike. I haven't seen or talked to him in months, which is partly my fault, because I've been avoiding talking to him, but I feel that he's been avoiding me too. Maybe for the same reason; whatever the reason, I need to know.

I've been avoiding him because I wanted to let him be with El. I've had feelings for him for as long as I can remember, but he chose to be with El, and he's my best friend, so i'll always respect his choices and love him through everything. I love him as more than a friend. I'm in love with him.

I've made a painting for him. El wrote about it to him in a letter she sent to him. She told me that he's asked about me, but why can't he just talk to me? Not talking to my favorite person is the worst thing. Mike is the only person who's ever made me feel better for being different. But he wants El, so I'll except that. I'll always want him to be happy.

******TIME SKIP*****

At around 1:30 in the afternoon we all arrive at the Wheelers house. My heart sinks when I look at the house. This was the same house I spent so many days at. The same house I've had fights with Mike at. I get out of the car and stare at the front door of the house. When I see Mike sling open the door with a huge smile on his face, my heart shatters. It hurts and makes me happy to see him again, face-to-face. It's been almost a year. I examine his face, and notice all the changes. I see how his hair is a lot longer now. He's doing the same with me. We just stand far apart, staring at one another. Until I slowly start walking to the porch. Mike slowly starts walking towards me too. We finally come face to face and I say " Hi, Mike." And Mike says " Hey, Will." Mike looks me up and down. We lock eyes for a moment and I feel myself about to cry. Mike opens his mouth in an attempt to say something when El runs up to him and throws her arms around his neck and basically jumps onto him. I step back and watch El plant his face with kisses and he hugs her back and tells her how much he missed her. They hug for a while. I feel myself tearing up, but I walk back to the car to grab our luggage.

My mom and Mrs. Wheeler had become really good friends before we moved and they talked on the phone basically everyday. So, by now, they were best friends. That's why we're all staying at the Wheelers instead of a hotel.

My mom runs to the porch as soon as Mrs. Wheeler steps outside. They hug and exchange greetings. Nancy runs out of the house ( more so sprinting) and jumps into Jonathan's arms. She plants a kiss on his lips. I cringe a bit just because my brother having a girlfriend, especially Mike's sister, never sat well with me.

We all eventually go inside. After we're all unpacked and settled in, we all get washed up and ready for dinner. Eleven gets the basement for herself because it's only really a couch down there. Mike said I could always come in his room since he has an extra bed, or I can go in the basement. I chose to stay in Mikes room. Jonathan has a guest room, but he'll probably end up going to bed with Nancy. Joyce has a guest bedroom as well.

Me, Mike, and El all walk to the table and sit down. Nancy and Jonathan join a few minutes later. Mrs. Wheeler and mom set all the food on the table. Dinner is quite a quiet affair, but not an awkward quiet. A peaceful quiet.

After dinner, Mike and El go into the basement and probably go makeout or something. They let me down there, but I just sit on the other side of the basement and draw. I hear Mike and El giggling, and a feel a huge pang of jealousy hit me like a wave. I eventually get too upset and I start walking to exit the basement. Mike says " Whoa, Will, where are you going?" I say " I'm gonna go lay down, I don't feel too good." I quickly run out of the basement and into Mike's room. I start hyperventilating and sit on the bed I'm sleeping on for the night. I rub my chest and eventually calm my breathing.

I get up and walk around Mikes room, and see what's changed. I see a stack of drawings on Mikes nightstand. I look at them and notice that they're all mine. I'm shocked. I smile once I realize that Mike had kept these; they must be of some importance to him.

I decide to lay down and try to
sleep, but I don't actually sleep at all. I just lay flat on my back and stare at the ceiling. My mind is full of thoughts. ' Why has Mike kept my drawings after all these years?' ' Why is Mike so clearly avoiding me?'

*****TIME SKIP****

Around an hour later I hear the bedroom door slowly creak open and I look over to see Mike glancing down at me. He smiles slightly and says " Hi." I say" Hi, thats all you have to say? So. Mike, what've you been up to... for the past- i don't know, year? You didn't seem to wanna talk to me..."

Mike sits down on the bed beside me and says " Will, it's not that i didn't wanna talk to you. i just- thought you would move on and wouldn't necessarily need me or wanna be my friend after meeting people in Lenora. I just wanted to give you a chance at happiness..."

I scoff and say " Bullshit, Mike! You're my best friend; why would you ever think i'd wanna move on from you? The only person my age i even hang out with in Lenora is El!"

Mike says " Okay, I lied. that's not why I was avoiding you. I just- needed to avoid you. I felt like i needed to, anyway. I'd been having some unfamiliar feelings that I shouldn't be having, feelings that aren't necessarily normal. So, all I did for awhile was distance myself from you and talk to El. Then i realized that I can't fight off these feelings. I don't wanna have them, but I do... I just do. And i'm so sorry, Will!"

My mouth is gaping open in shock. What feelings is he talking about? He doesn't mean... no way. Feelings for me? Nope. What was he trying to say..? I'm sure he's talking about Eleven. What if he's falling in love with her? And he stopped having time for me... That's what happened. I hold back tears and say " Mike, i understand you pushing me away. I know you and El are stronger than ever, and I moved. We were bound to fall off. It's okay."

Mike says " No, Will- you don't get it. I distanced myself from you on purpose, because- I thought maybe I'd stop feelings those feelings. For you. Or about you- whatever, it doesn't matter. The thing is, it didn't work. It only made me realize that they were unavoidable. And I don't love El, not in that way at least. I just got with her because, everyone was expecting it, and... everyone would've- i don't know, suspected. Anyway, my point is, i'm sorry for avoiding you. You are my best friend. I hope you'll forgive me. I just want to be your best friend again."

As he says this, what he's saying hits me. I say " Mike, what- what feelings? And, you and El? You don't?... What?!"

Mike sighs and says " It doesn't matter, I just think that... me and you, should stick together, like we always have. It's always been me and you, best friends. You were my first friend."

I tear up and say " Yeah- uh, yeah. You're my best friend too and- honestly, I can't imagine living without you because, you know, I've never had to."

Mike places his hand on my shoulder and says " Cool." " Cool.", I reply. Mike walks over to his bed and says " Night, Will." I say " Goodnight, Mike."

I can't sleep because what he said is burning in the back of my mind. Feelings. What feelings?

**********
A/N~ Hi, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I might change up some things about the story in the later chapters.